MICHAEL JACKSON ROBOT

It's true. Michael Jackson has plans on a new Las Vegas show which includes a giant 50' robot with laser-shooting eyeballs. Don't believe me? Use my Super-Google-Insta-Link System (TM) and see for yourself.

88_c_9000

Behold the wonder of 88_c_9000!

I wrote a testimonial to the Weta Raygun site and got published! Click the above portrait to read it! Be sure to read the other's testimonies as they are by far superior. The response-intros to each are hilarious!

ON-GOING HISTORY OF NEW MUSIC

This syndicated radio show (from Toronto's CFNY.FM) is the longest running music documentary series in Canada and one of the longest in North America. It's hosted by Alan Cross and it's quite riveting. This guy knows his stuff. Somehow he unearths the most incredible dirt on pretty much any and every bit of the music industry. I dare you to listen to one of his shows and not say "Huh, well aint that the bee's knees." Even when I hate a band (Red Hot Chili Peppers) I'll listen and be absolutely amazed. Don't get me wrong, I won't end up having any new-found respect for them, but it's a fascinating listen. Right now, as I write, I'm listening to Alan Cross talk about rock and roll hair-styles and I'm enthralled. Engrossed if you will. The great thing about the on-line version of the show is that you can skip past the crappy songs (read: Red Hot Chili Peppers) and get back to the topic at hand. The only downside to this show is its opening intros (kinda like little skits). Don't let these 30 second intros turn you off. Again, listen to one show and you'll be hooked. Alan Cross is very good. You can listen to past shows here. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to learn more about Flock Of Seagulls' hair (did you know that two of the band members were hair stylists!? It's all making sense now).

MY BIGFOOT ART

Here's a snap of one of my most recent art purchases. It's by graffiti artist Bigfoot.

I picked it up at the Ayden Gallery in the Tinseltown mall. It's 18"x 24" on wood panel and it looks great! I've been wanting a Bigfoot original (this is silkscreen on wood--not quite "original" but whatever) for a long time and was surprised to see that this was still for sale--SOLD!!! As soon as I have some spare bucks kickin' about I'll finally get this print of his framed too.


I picked this up a little while ago. It's a bunch of nazis trying to take down a yeti. Come on guys, grow up! You won't win this war either! The artist is Michael Bennett (see previous post).


These two prints are by Tim Biskup and below is my favouite yeti picture of all time. It's an original Kai Todd-Darrell.

THE ART OF MICHAEL BENNET

The artist's name is Michael Bennet and you HAVE to check out his website and gallery. It's amazing. He's got so much work that it's mind-blowing. It'll take you hours to go through it all and you'll want to. It's 60's/70's black-light poster art meets Jack Kirby. Some of it looks like the art you might see on the sides of amusement park fun houses/haunted houses or side-show banners; acid-eatin' carny noodle-heads with an airbrush. He does all genres; science-fiction, western, war, super-heroes, classic monsters, tikis, zombies, hot-rods, fantasy. And it's really cheap!! I got mine (see next post) for 20 bucks. Although some stuff is kinda sloppy a lot of it is just stellar! And like I say, there is SO MUCH to look at that there's bound to be something you'll want to order. He claims that each week there'll be 18 new pieces!!! Be sure to read his bio. GO! GO! GO!

TOWER OF GRANTVILLE

Here's a beautifully rendered animated short done by the fine folks of Buck. Essentially, Scion vehicles paid Buck to make whatever they wanted and what's cool is that there isn't a Scion to be seen anywhere in it. Be sure to make your way to Buck.tv and watch their demo reel. They've done some pretty slick looking stuff.

TOKYO FLASH WATCHES

You want a really cool watch? Go to Tokyo Flash and get yours now. I'm getting them all.

Roxorloops show part 1/2 french beatbox championship 2006

Roxorloops show part 2/2 french beatbox championship 2006

EDDIE VAN HALEN

I've never liked Van Halen, but somehow I happened across this picture of Ed and was quite startled. I was physically jolted and feared for my life. It was barely a nanosecond but I honestly thought that the jpg might actually come to life and Eddie might reach out from my laptop's screen and try smothering me with his ghastly ghoulish hands. You can quite easily picture a serpent's tongue flickering in-and-out, hear and smell a ghastly raspy hiss from his rancid rotting esophagus. It almost looks like he just sprayed a venomous blast on someone off-camera.


Once my heart settled and my brain unthawed from sheer fright (for Dungeons & Dragon players, it was the equivalent of being touched by a wight) and realized that it was just a picture, I tried to figure out just who he reminded me of. Of course my initial thought was "MONSTER!" but then I became rational and thought hard. "Where have I seen this guy before?" Then it hit me. An epiphany if you will:

It all makes perfect sense! Eddie is Eddie. The Iron Maiden mascot, Eddie is pretty much a kind of rocker-zombie. The Van Halen guitarist is pretty much a kind of rocker-zombie.

Your typical rocker-zombie attire.

Eddie poses with his upcoming feast.

Nice boots, chief, nice boots.
Your typical rocker-zombie foot.

SET PHASERS TO CHUNDER!

You've heard about the pain ray where "authorities" can blast a crowd of "unruly" demonstrators with a ray that causes the inflicted to feel as though they're literally burning into bacon so their instinct of flight kicks in and everyone disperses. The ONLY thing wrong with the pain ray is that it can't shoot through walls! So screw the useless pain ray! LONG LIVE THE PUKE RAY!

The Navy is looking into a great new device that has been developed which can make people vomit their guts out. The advantage of this less-than-lethal device is that its "radio waves" can penetrate walls (like your basic ham radio) and make people puke. If I had a time-machine, I'd go back to the Jesus days and while Jesus was on the cross I'd add insult to injury and blast him with it for a full 10 seconds. That way I'd finally fulfill my life-long dream of making it into the Bible (and add some much needed class to that scene as well).

Hey speaking of Jesus two things:

One: If I ever decide to like jazz and want to start a jazz band, I'd call my ensemble "Jazz's Christ."

Two: A joke for you that goes a-sumpin' like this:

Jesus is on the cross. He's been there for hours and to be honest, he doesn't look like he's doing too good. One of his goofy disciples, perhaps Grumpy or Jokey comes along and sees his lord in agony.

"Oh, my lord, is there anything I can do for you?"

With barely a whisper Jesus mumbles something but the disciple can't quite hear so he runs off. Wait! It gets funnier. So the disciple runs off into town and gets a ladder and returns. He puts the ladder against Jesus's outstretched arm and climbs up.

"I'm sorry, my lord, I couldn't hear you."
"...please....my hand...it hurts."
"Yes, my lord, leave it to me."

And so Climby Smurf begins to remove the nail from his best friend's hand and when it gets pulled Jesus says

"ahhhh...oh...god....that feels soooo much better. Please...pull out the other...."

The disciple climbs down, moves the ladder over to his other arm, climbs up and removes the next nail.

"oh jeeze-louise that feels good. please, son...continue with this blessed duty..."

The fella climbs down the ladder and, no longer needing the ladder, he pulls it away and Jesus, in a state of panic, (waving his arms like a guy suddenly stopping on the edge of a cliff) begins to fall forward and yells,

"THE FEET! THE FEET! GET THE FEET!"

LOST - John Locke - Speed Painting

Great photoshop skills and techniques here from a talented illustrator. Now check out below...

LOST - John Locke - Speed Painting in Photoshop

...It's hilarious! The guy's intentionally brutal skills shows us that he's a real pro. I love his attempt at creating a really nice highlight on the top of John's head.

THE GOON

The Goon series by Eric Powell is by far my most favourite comic series I have ever read. Let's just take a look at the facts here: zombies, monsters, aliens, inter-dimensional portals, a psychic seal, booze, murder, voodoo, betrayal, TNT, pie...come on! It just doesn't get any better! Oh yes it does! It's hilarious. I rarely find myself laughing out loud when I read things but I do it often with this comic. I find myself constantly falling in love with the comic over and over and tell Kamala at the end of each page "I love this comic." Recently, a 3 issue side-series called "The Goon Noir" was released. These were co-written by numerous comedians (Brian Posehn, Patton Oswalt, Thomas Lennon) and I can't wait for the compilation of these issues to come out in July.

But coming sooner, in April, the controversial issue entitled "Satan's Sodomy Baby" is set to come out. According to Dark Horse it is "the single most offensive, controversial, and flat-out loathsome comic ever published by Dark Horse." I'm jumping into my Delorian now and going back to the future to get my issue tonight!

Head here for a more detailed explanation to the series.

THE DARJEELING LIMITED

I know I'm a tad late on this but I need to get this off my chest. I had 30 of these pictures printed and framed and put on every workstation here at Halfsquatch headquarters and every time I look at one of these I crack a little smile. It's supposedly an action/adventure/comedy about three brothers (you can tell they're brothers -- look at their noses) in Darjeeling who are trying to hunt down a rare albino tiger who may be the reincarnation of their dead father.

First off, this isn't a publicity still but rather a pop-shot photo taken from a tourist who happened to see Adrien Brody on the street and followed him. In doing so he struck gold and found himself face to face to face to face with Adrien, Owen and Jason. He talked to the guys for a bit and took their picture. What's great about this picture? The mysteries within it:

1. I am assuming that the device in Jason's mitts is a playback monitor for the actors but what if it isn't? WHAT IF IT ISN'T!?

2. What happened to Owen's character?

and most importantly:

3. What in god's hoo-ha is in the mystery box? I am going to make two replicas of that box. One to have on my desk and the other to bury in my back yard so that in 10,000 years, when archeology robots unearth it, scientists will fry their circuits trying to figure out what it once held.

I'm not sure when this movie is scheduled for release but I am willing to lay down 1000 clams that the Hallowe'en following its release you'll be seeing many different sets of these brothers walking around. For more information go here.

RAYGUNS

More news on Dr. Grordbort's Infallible Aether Oscillators! There's a release date and pricing for these bad boys found here! They're not cheap, but what raygun isn't?