ROCKY ACTION FIGURES

Oh man, where to begin...I took my oldest son to Toys 'R Us about 3 months ago and found the most pitiful "action" figure ever produced. It's Adrian Balboa. Fearing that the toy would be snatched up immediately by all the kids, I snapped this crappy pic with my cel-phone:

So now this weekend I found myself going back to T.R.U. so I thought I'd bring my camera just in case it was still there. For some reason, it was. Here:

She looks like she's smuggling a meat-truck inside her coat. The picture of Adrian on the packaging looks like she's saying "Fuck I look like a great big huge pile of crap." She's absolutely right. I feel sorry for Talia Shire.

Closer up inspection shows of the quality materials that were used in producing this quality action figure. I should go and buy this just so I can undress her and see what she's wearing underneath this! I bet it's sexy. Adrian was really sexy.

There's a ton of figures from the movie there as well and I'm not lying; they all looked like a lot of care, time, money and pride went into the making of these action figures. I didn't take any pictures of the rest so after about 16 hours worth of googlin' I tracked these bad-boy jpgs down. I'm not kidding but there's probably about 30 figures to collect. According to one website's description of the toys: "Jakks Pacific produced this fantastic line of 6" inch Rocky action figures. Each figure comes with character specific accessories and each figure is fully poseable. Collect them all."Here's just some:

From here he doesn't look too bad.

Before a big fight, Rocky listens to a used car-salesperson talk about a
pyramid opportunity that Rocky could get in on. Rocky seriously considers it.

Kids need a change of adventure when it comes to playing Rocky.
The 'Stars & Stripes' shorts just aint enough. Here's a limited edition
collectors' item. They only made 1800 of these Cave-man Rocky!
They're currently goingon Ebay's "buy it now" for $45,000.

Ah. The great Spider Rico! I love the photo of Spider on the packaging.
It looks like a forensics' photo where the toy makers photoshopped
out the blood-stained hotel room bed and rotated the picture 90 degrees.

What line of boxing movie toys isn't complete
without the charismatic ringside announcer?! Kids
love pretending to talk like Brent Museberger.

Kids demanded it and the toy-makers listened! It's the
"Jabba-the-Hut-of-Rocky" action figure. This would
be the first character I'd pick if my mom said,
"Okay, Johnny, you can only pick one..."
"Can I please have two?"
"No, just one dear. They're expensive."
"Okay...I'll take a Tony Gazzo."
His face really does say it all.
"OOOO That ROCKY! I'ma gonna killa him if I don't git me green!"

This figure is proving to be very popular
with little lesbian boys and girls.

Very large calves.
Speaking of large calves:

no comment

Thunderlips. It actually looks like Hulk Hogan.
Jakks, the toy-makers probably saved a lot of money
by just taking old Hulk Hogan action figures, ripping off the
heads and attaching them to their Rocky doll's body.

Children find endless fun with the
removable sweat-stained jock accessory.

If only they put the little commemorative plate thingy up by
his chest then it would look like a mug-shot. Paulie, in my
opinion would be the funnest figure to play with. There's
just soooo many role-play opportunities with a toy like Paulie.

Referee Lou Fillipo actually doubles for the
"Nuclear Wasteland George Bush" action figure!

Mick! MICK!!! So much geezer fun. Especially when Jakks
considered adding an "action stool" to heighten every
child's active imagination.

Phew! Thanks for hanging in there! Finally, while in line to buy my son a couple of Ben 10 toys, I saw these in the check-out line: