HYPOSURFACE

Look what I developed in my car-port this weekend...

FRASER BOWL & RAQUETBALL LICENSED LOUNGE, HOPE B.C.

Stopped into Hope, BC today on my way home from camping and spotted this great mural! It's bigfoots having a gay old time!

This snooker match is the silliest billiard thing ever! The breaker has scratched as his ball goes flying up, Up, UP! and OVER the table while at the EXACT same time a run-away bowling ball (5 pin) has found its way UNDER the table!

The 7 rules to Bigfoot Bowling:

1: No shoes on bowling lanes
2: ONE ball at a time
3: NO dancing on the tables!
5: No footsie
4: No Leg Wresling
7: No Diving.

This seems to be a nice first date. The female (the one with a flower in her hair,
is eating some kind of cream cheese burger with chips
(crisps as my friends across the pond would say)
while drinking a crantini. The male bigfoot is
enjoying what seems to be a mug of something
while watching the Bigfoot "Wresling" on the TV.
I wonder what inspired the artist to paint "Washroom out of order"
sign on this mural? Is this some kind of Da Vinci code?

Round 10! This fight could go on forever! I wonder if it's in Las Vegas.

KANYE WEST vs. ZACH GALIFIANAKIS

Kanye West has a music video out for his single You Can't Tell Me Nothin' and it's a typical rap music video. But Kanye also has a good sense of humour it would seem as this is also an official music video for the same single starring comedian Zach Galifianakis. Click image below for the link to this hilarious video.

"...wait 'til I get my money right..."

MUHAMMAD ALI vs. SPINKS

I remember as a kid how there was this boxer named Muhammad Ali and all I knew was that he was the best! Another one of those larger-than-life kind of super-hero types. I remember that there was going to be a fight between Ali and some "crazy" guy named Spinks. "What kind of man wants to get in a fight with Muhammad Ali? A crazy guy with no teeth, that's who!"


"Spingth." That's because I have a lisp so whenever I said "Spinks" I said "Spingth." "Mahammad" with an "A" isn't bad for a small kid, and I guess "Olly" makes senth.

So Mahammad Olly says "Put em up sucka" and then Spingth says "Ya I'll put em up." Then all of a sudden Mahammad Olly is spewin' some classic Vinnie Bobarino in "Welcome Back Kotter" by saying "Give me drugs give me drugs." and finally Spingth says "Hear I have a bottle of drugs." It's really hard to believe that Spinks won this fight when you can clearly see that Muhammad has a longer reach and better mitts. Spinks should be trippin' about with those giant feet of his. I think I actually captured Spinks' likeness:

EVEL KNIEVEL

The Snake River canyon jump was something beyond comprehension for a child. There's this motorcycle guy who's not only fearless but "unbreakable." He wears a cape like a super-hero, has his own line of action figures and toy stunt bikes and now he has a rocket car that 's going to launch him across what I thought was the Grand Canyon? HOLY GOD!


I think I started writing "Dear (Dare) Devil" and erased it to Evel Knievel. It's funny how the world looks to a little kid.

THE WILDERNESS CHICKEN

I remember saying to my mom "I want to make my own book." She got me the tools necessary and I sat down to write the perfect bed-time book. This was going to be amazing! Everything I would want in a story because I'm going to write it.

"The WilDerness chicken"

There owns livd a group of 10 toe toes and a chicken for a green enemy.

SuDdenly some trees moovd. It was the green heded chicken.

so they ran away from the fast so one got squashed from him. there was a bomb


First things first. My mother drew the chicken on the first page. I think that's obvious when you compare it to my attempt at drawing 10 toe toes. You can also make out my attempt at drawing a chicken.

On the second page you can see how I tried to copy my mother's chicken. It's crashing through the trees, approaching to eat the 10 toe toes.

The last page clearly says "I've had enough of this book writing. I'm tired of this. How can I finish it quickly? A BOMB! That ought'a wrap this story up good and quick!" I only wish I drew a picture of the bomb blowing the chicken up! Hey! I'm still me! I still can't draw! I'm going to finally put the finishing touches on this masterpiece! Hold on a second!

THERE! HERE! Again, I had to copy my mother's chicken.

MAN AND HIS BALLOON

I love this guy. I wish he had his own television show or maybe one day the two of us could be roomies.

ALIEN GARBAGE ROBOT

click picture for biggering it

This illustration was based on a true event that happened to my friend Geoff and I when we went camping in my backyard one night though instead of a jet-powered garbage robot it was The Springfield Ghost and there wasn't any lava bombs. I wonder if this garbage robot was the inspiration for Pixar's up-and-coming film WALL-E. Remind me to sue Pixar.

I guess it was creative writing class at school so I wrote this and then drew the picture to accompany it:

"Bye Bye Geoff"

It was at nighttime, 12:01. I was out camping with my friend, sitting beisde the fire. I told Geoff to get some wood. About 5 minutes later he came back with no wood. I asked him, "Where is the wood?" He said, "I saw a wierd machine in the air. I belived him. The fire went out and it was quiet until we heard a spinning sound. It sounded as though it was going to land.

I looked outside there was a huge machine that looked like a tarantula with no legs. I ran up on a hill, to take a better look at it. Geoff came up to. Finally it landed. then we saw legs come out and then it looked like a tarantula. It was black with six yellow spots and to red dots for eyes. Finally the mouth opened.

A creature came out. It was ugly. He, or it, overed over to the tent and tore it apart. We were mad because that tent cost $20.00. Well to be exact it was $19.99. So we went down and told him off. But then he said to shut-up and we did because he had a wierd looking water pistol. We weren't saying anything for a while so then he went in his ship and got the others.

They were hovering after us. Geoff picked up a stone and threw it at one of them. The one that was hit threw a lava bomb at him and Geoff disinagrated, then undisinagrated and he caught up to me. The alians were getting too close and I picked up Geoff and threw him to where it said garbage on the aliens chest.

It says here: Content: 8.5 / 10. Grammar: 7 /10. Picture: 4.5 / 5 -- 20 / 25 = 80% Wow. That's a not a shabby. Stay tuned for tomorrow's adventure "The Wilderness Chicken."

THE SLIME MONSTER

I am right now in negotiations with Michael Bay for the film options based on this illustration I did when I was in and around grade 3. What we're looking at here is what I call "The Slime Monster." Can't remember the inspiration for this. Something to do with the death of 6 people and the destruction of (at most) two golden buildings. Can you imagine this actually happening to you and your family?! Michael has told me that he's going to everything in his power to keep the integrity of this illustration in tact.


In the corner you can just make out the autograph by Jan Chamberlain, which reads "To John G, my new friend, Jan Chamberlain." Jan was my parents' friend's mother. She was in a ketchup commercial I had seen and I couldn't believe I was meeting a TV star.

THE DOGOOD BROTHERS

Here's the teaser one-sheet for Andrew Duncan and my new mid-tech mystery series "The Dogood Brothers."

Weta Rayguns Informercial

MY DOPPLEGANGER?

At the downtown library tonight, Kamala opened a kid's book and said to me, "Hey! This is what you would have looked like if you had down syndrome." Sorry for the crappy cell phone imaging and any offensiveness this might carry...

ODD MURAL FOR A SCHOOL

Here's a mural for St. Patrick's Regional Secondary School, a Catholic school in Vancouver's Mount Pleasant area. The school's teams are the Celtics. The romping fellas you see in the mural are the team's mascots "The Fathers." They attend every game naked and get into this crazy routine every time their team scores a goal. They also assume this unique position when they're down a few points. In fact, they're just there in the corner by the bleachers doing this the entire game. Quite distracting for the visiting teams.

Bigfoot and Wildboy TV intro (1977)

I loved this show when I was a kid.

URGENT LOOKWELL UPDATE!

ACTUNG! I've now watched this pilot 3 times and it's funnier and funnier each time I watch it. Adam West is AMAZING as Ty Lookwell as Bannigan, a former TV-star detective who tries his best to help the police solve mundane crimes. Only Adam West could deliver these corn-ball lines and get away with it convincingly without busting a stitch. He's cool as a sheet of ice.

DEMETRI MARTIN

I overheard my friend Jake and some other work cohorts guffawing away today at something on their computerized machines so I did some super Halfsquatch investigating. What I found may actually alarm you:

So I guess Windows Vista put a bunch of clams into the creation of this website for comedian Demetri Martin. The homepage contains an animated monologue of various comedic bits that's well worth listening to. The site contains a short film that's broken up into 6 acts (approx. 6 minutes each?) that are quite well written and well done. A little Napolean Dynomite, a little Wes Anderson. Demitri himself is like a reserved, subtle and Greek Dane Cook. The artwork used in both the website and the films is done by Michael Gillette.

There's Windows Vista plugs and sponsorship throughout each little film but they're not "in your face" or driving the story at all. I think the third film "Electric Brain" is my favourite.

LOOKWELL!

Pretty awesome Conan O'Brien/Robert Smigel series that got canceled right away. BOO.

SHOULDER RIDING CLUB

There's a club for people who love to shoulder ride and it's based here in Vancouver. I love this club. It was the inspiration for a magazine cover in one of my 2003 MTV Movie Awards animated clips.
According to their website:

This is a casual social club with a unique concept. It stems from discovering that a number of women refuse to go to many events because they can't see a thing and they get crushed by the crowd. They would love to attend the event but can't have fun when they can't see anything. We also discovered that a number of men are still chivalrous and more than willing to help the ladies get a better view from their shoulders. So why not get the two sides together and create a win-win for both parties. That's the fundamental reason this club was formed. It's a chance for people to attend events and have a really good time. It's all about making new friends and having fun with no strings attached. We do a lot of other activities that don't involve shoulder riding such as salsa dancing, movies, hiking, anything the members want to do. But when there's a big crowd and the ladies can't see, the guys are there to help out.

Salsa dancing without the shoulder riding?!? What are they thinking? That's like Gilligan's Island without the Gilligan!!!

GOD BLESS YOU TO HELL, BILL KEANE!!!!!

Anyone? Help? I really don't get it. I remember seeing this in the paper when it came out and I asked Kamala if she understood it and she just said "Fuck it. Why are you bothering? He's a fucking retard." 'He' being Jeff & Bill Keane. I hate this comic so much (as does everyone except grannies) but this one really makes me mad.