COLIN BEADLE ART SHOW

Your pal Beadle had a showing of his new line of paintings at Voltage on Main St. Congrats Beadle and top marks on yet another great series!

the master with one of his larger pieces and a fine sarsaparilla

everyone wants a picture of the master

the window to the master's soul

Lawson makes a Vancouver appearance before heading off to
London to work on the movie version of The Golden Compass.

Greg thinks soooo hard about stuff that a snake slithers
out of his head.

Gamble and Raspy don't like you...

...but the Master, Hopkins and Bonnie do

After the show I really needed some soup. I ordered roasted apple and onion and it was fine, thank you.

YETI WIP

How awesome is this? Too rich for my blood but man do I really want this one-of-a-kind promotional painting for Topps Wacky Packages.

H.M.C.S. FOG-DUCKER

When I was a kid, my dad was invited by some work-mates to enter a "crazy boat race." The main rule for the race was that the vessel had to be human powered. Their craft was crappy and they ended up sinking. But my dad thought that he'd enter the next year's race with a craft of his own and he invited his friends to be his team.

The H.M.C.S. Fog-Ducker and its hearty crew in action along

the beautiful but unforgiving rocky shores of the Credit River!

My dad approached a local liberal candidate for sponsorship (I think the guy coughed up 200 clams) and hired a welder to build the craft out of oil drums. My dad designed it to look something like a submarine with pontoons on the side for stability. He painted it up and put the liberal candidate's name on it. I don't know if this guy had any idea that he'd be sponsoring a boat called the Fog-Ducker. At that time, being a kid, I just thought it was called that because, being like a submarine, it could literally duck the fog.

My dad had team "I'm With Stupid" t-shirts made for his crew, designating himself as "Stupid" and entered the H.M.C.S. Fog-Ducker into the race. The competition was fierce. The Fog-Ducker was up against a floating army jeep complete with working water-cannon, a giant floating mousetrap, some stupid toilet raft which sunk right away, and about 50 other boats (as far as I can remember). The Fog-Ducker was perfectly designed and easily took first-place and won the coveted trophy.

When they got home, they had a party and decided to phone the local newspaper "The Banner" to see if they wanted the story. They bit and the H.M.C.S. Fog-Ducker and its crew were featured front-page. I imagine that the editor of The Banner thought that it was called the Fog-Ducker because it could literally duck the fog.

The proud winners stand for their newspaper
photo-op. The anchor-man, Gary Luker (far right)
actually broke his leg climbing into the Fog-Ducker
for this photo. He stood on it for 10 seconds and
then had to be taken to the hospital.

The following year, my father had entered the vessel into another crazy river race. Unfortunately, this river was deadly with crippling rapids and a couple of drastic drops. The H.M.C.S. Fog-Ducker buckled and collapsed into a crumpled heap of scrap, killing all crew but my father who was dragged half-drowned, but alive!, to shore by a kind beaver. The television show "Real People" had actually filmed that year's race and everyone got together for a party to watch and see if the deadly crash or even a glimps of the Fog-Ducker made it to telelvision. It was not to be as the producers of the show knew that the name Fog-Ducker had nothing to do with being able to duck the fog.

HIS DARK MATERIALS

I finally finished a trilogy of books by Philip Pullman called His Dark Materials. What an awesome trilogy (despite how terrible the North American covers are--by far, the first two books win the lamest, gayest jacket art ever, hands down--who commissioned these and worse, who approved these disasters?!?!?!). Book 1, The Golden Compass and Book 2, The Subtle Knife are incredible. Book 3, The Amber Spyglass started off good and has some really cool things in it but I hated it two-thirds of the way through and it started up a whole new arc that was completely stupid. Pullman really blew it with the final book but the first two books are soooo fucking good that you'll just have to finish the trilogy off.

8.5 out of 10 for the gayest book cover ever

11 out of 10 for the gayest book cover ever!
Look at it! It's terrible!!!!


1 out of 10 for the gayest book cover ever.
At least this cover actually relates to what
awaits the reader.

These books are for younger kids; tween-agers and up, but Pullman doesn't really hold anything back. If you like Harry Potter, but want something a bit edgier and more daring, then these books are perfect. The main hero, Lyra, a tom-boyish scamp, smokes, drinks wine and pukes. There's tons of blood and death. Fighting, magic (but not Wizard-like hokus-pokus magic), fierce armoured bears, and best of all it's extremely anti-religion (Christian/Catholic). The Christians and the vatican have been boo-hooing, pissing their diapers and screaming BLASPHEMY! about these books, the theatrical production and now the movies.

The characters are incredibly well-rounded and varied, with each class of character and his/her society having a rich cultural and political background. The book's characters come from all walks of life--literally, and due to the nature of the story, all band together to destroy God. How cool is that in a "kid's book?" One of the characters, Lee Scoresby, a Texan, , is just an aeronaut, who has been hired to fly his hot-air balloon up into the arctic and in doing so, becomes a great neutral character who slowly grows to love the girl-heroine and fights for her life and cause. At the end of the 2nd-last chapter of The Subtle Knife, a chapter that's pretty much all Scoresby, I was shaking with tension and disbelief. Let's just say it's a perfect scene in a western. Pullman's incredibly descriptive passages have you right there in the thick of it and I had to have a time-out/breather at the end of that chapter.

The official website is incredibly detailed and there are tons of unofficial fansites that are just as massive such as this one. The movies are now in production and they're going to have to have a HUGE budget to pull this off right. The first movie, for example, EVERY human character will need a CGI/real-life animal counter-part (daemon) for every single scene (and Lyra's daemon changes into about 60 different animals alone). The books also take place in a number of different worlds and landscapes so there'll be lots of world-traveling and huge studio set designs. This isn't just Hogwarts and owls.

Again, Book 3 on the whole, sucked compared to the first two, but there are awesome elements and is still incredible. I actually started reading Book 2 about a year ago but put it down near the beginning because I didn't really like some of the dialogue exchange between Lyra and a new character; it seemed contrived and too "kiddie-like." I got over that little hang-up and found that I liked Book 2 more than Book 1. In my opinion, any book, let alone a "kid's book" that says religion is bad for the world has got to be a great book. Like I always say, "Go to hell Christians."

COCA-COLA

Andrew's follow-up/one-up to my Windsor Salt commercial.

click chuggin' Monkey for Quicktime (00:10 - 1.3 mb)

MORE ZAPPA WILDNESS!!!!

John Richardson of media activist group R Room donned some crazy digital SCUBA-wear, went into the deep end of the internet, dove down to the bottom and hauled up this juicy bit of Zappa goodness:

He wrote:
"In the 80's some movies could have been completely different.
For example Eric Stoltz was originally cast and shot scenes for Back To The Future but was quickly replaced by the less cranky Michael J. Fox. Many don't remember, but most of 1982's Zapped! was originally shot with Frank Zappa until the producers came in on the last day of shooting and said "These guy's have the same hair! We need to cut Zappa's hair". Frank Zappa refused and Scott Baio (then boyfriend of Willie AAMES) was on set and was cast immediately.
Zappa later released his version of ZAPPED which did not do as well as the now unforgettable Zapped! with Heather Thomas and Scott Baio."


The producers did the right thing here I think. I rewatched Zapped!, with the knowledge that Aames and Baio had a relationship during the filming and it clearly shows. Even if I could get over the fact that Zappa and Aames have similar hair-dos, I just don't think the chemistry between the two would be the same. Also, there's something really creepy about Zappa.

WINDSOR SALT

Here's the commercial I did a whole while back for Windsor Salt.

click bag of salt for Quicktime (oo:o6 - 3.8 mb)

STRANGE ABYSS

Everyone's going on about The Abyss these days. I've just about had it up to here with all the talk about the director's cut and the theatrical release and which ending's better. ENOUGH! Mr. Cameron, if you're visiting, please take into careful consideration my idea for a half-decent ending...

click Ed Harris' face for Quicktime (00:43 - 1.5 mb)

ZAPPA SHOCKER?!?!

My friend John Dryden contacted me and delivered this shocking revelation:

He states, and I copy/paste, "...Does some microsoft dude just walk in one day and say, "Hey! I know! Let's make the XBOX controller look EXACTLY like Frank Zappa's mustache!" OR; IS Frank Zappa using some sort of mind control from beyond the grave? Hmmmm?"

If I use my ouija board tonight and IF I can reconnect with the Zap-man, I'll get to the bottom of this mystery.

ZAPPA!?!?!

HA! It looks like my ouija board works! I just got commissioned from the ghost of Frank Zappa to do a new the album graphics for his post-humous release "Iguana Sauna." Like his other albums, the music is really retarded and stupid. Can't say I'm a big fan of Frank Zappa's work, but 10 bucks is 10 bucks and I guess it could get me some work from Captain Beefheart. Here's the cover and the back.

OUIJA PUNK

I picked up this ouija board a while ago but haven't used it. I am going to start tonight and try to channel as many dead rock stars as possible so that they have an outlet here on Halfsquatch, to say what they want to say and whatnot. I think it's going to be a blast...as long as Elvis doesn't ruin everything.

TONY HAWK IN BOOM BOOM SABOTAGE

It's finally out! The feature I directed hit store shelves today and I didn't even know it until tonight! I've been away from the office for some time and I'm out of the loop as to what the hell is going on and it was Monkey who told me that it was out. He didn't even know it was available either until he had heard the word from some roustabout that the DVD was out. Now Buckley tells me that it's only out now in the U.S. and will be out in Canada sometime in October or November.

http://www.boomboomsabotage.com/

HUNGOVER

I'm on a real Andrew "Monkey" Duncan kick these days, but geeze louise, who isn't?! Let's call a spade a spade, come right down to brass tacks and face the music; the dirty little dancer is IT! He's the dirty little kid with the dirty little plan. Is there anything he can't do? I ask you again, is there anything he can't do? He's a master of disguise, a dancer, a director, an actor, a voice-actor, an editor, a writer, a laziast, and a bunion of warmth!

Since I posted the STONED trailer earlier, I thought I should at least post the first film in Andrew's trilogy so that when the actual short film Stoned is posted, you can see how the genius that is Andrew is progressing as a radiant film maker.

Hungover, the first in the trilogy, is considered a "classic." It is an autobiographical re-enactment of just one of Andrew's many hungover days. The phone call messages you will here are all real messages left by various people during one sweet hungover day. Monkey kept the recordings and used them for this film. As a sidenote, Hungover was made just days after Andrew earned his infamous nickname "Monkey." Little did we know the nickname would stick forever.

click image for quicktime (06:20 - 13.3 mb)

During the making of this film, Greg Richardson came to the shoot to help out. This help consisted of drinking all of the beer and passing out. "Snake," the cameraman/DOP literally had to spread the tripod over Greg's lifeless body on some set-ups. We put some clammy cereal or something around Greg's mouth and woke him up saying he puked. Greg, thinking that he did puke, got up, swore at us and left. Ahhh, good times, good times. I made the movie poster (seen above) and I'm the guy yelling "You are a little monkey! MONKEY!" and "arrnnnggg...I'm Andrew. I'm too hungover to answer the phone..." I am also the bandana-clad dork carrying a case of beer into the apt. at the end of the film. I'd like to know what you think of my acting skillz and camera charisma.

I can't wait to see Stoned. Actually, I've had the privilege of seeing a near completed version of it and I gave Andrew some really amazing notes which he will be taking into account. When Stoned is finished, Andrew will have another 10-or-so-years to complete his trilogy, with the filming of Jonesing: The Scag-mongering of Andy D.

RAV'S ANIMATION

A while back I had the pleasure of working with Rav Grewal on a number of projects, one of them being the 2003 MTV Movie Awards. Shortly after that, Rav needed to update his demo reel so he took a "Stiffler" scene from American Pie and used the MTV Seann William Scott model and animated to that dialogue track. The background characters/extras are from the Spider-Man series we worked on. I had the pleasure of offering some direction here and there but overall, it's pretty much all Grewal. Here's his awesome work!

click on image for quicktime (00:41 - 1.5 mb)

STONED

Andrew Duncan made this trailer for a short film he's almost finished making. Without his permission, I am proud to post this on Halfsquatch.

click image for Quicktime (00:52 - 3.2 mb)

CONGRATULATIONS!?!?

I found this card a whole while back at "Charlies" on Main. Though relevant considering my further adventures into fatherdom, it's waaay off the mark. It's original from the '70's, the illustrator signed his name as "Rex." According to the back it was made right here in Vancouver.