MYSTERIOUS CEMETERY NEAR COMMERCIAL DRIVE

Halfsquatch paranormal investigator John Dryden has been busy the last few days. He says, "There seems to be an over-abundance of psychic energy bullshit in the air; perhaps brought on by a recent chinook. I don't know. I've been having much more vivid dreams the past few nights; all of which involve death and possessions by other-worldly creatures and deities from alternate planes and universes. I don't really understand it myself and it's rather troubling."

In my opinion, John has had what very few of us have ever experienced or ever will experience: Prime Material / Parallel Ethereal Planar-Shift (PMPEPS). He goes on:

"So yesterday, my girlfriend and I decided to ride our bikes to Commercial Drive, as we often do. We like to change our route each time we go, trying to avoid hills. We traveled south on Skeena to Adanac and then west on Adanac to Commercial Drive, occasionally veering off left or right; to check out different houses and whatnot. We happened upon a really cool cemetery however, and decided to check it out. The thing looked like it is REALLY old, like hundreds of years old, but, you know, it can't be because Vancouver isn't even 100 years old. I then thought it must be a movie set, but these tombs and crypts were made of stone and brick and marble, plus there was no security. There was no one else there at all come to think of it. We walked around for a bit and I was really glad I brought my camera, because this place is amazing! Holy shit!"

It felt like someone or something! was always watching us

Not a single insect anywhere!

Again with the heebee-jeebies

Maybe Skinny Puppy needs a new album cover. LOL!

Here I am looking into one of the tombs.

I took this picture of what I saw in there...
It went down forever! I couldn't see the bottom!

I tried to get into this one because the door
had suddenly opened, but I just couldn't do it:
Something kept nagging in my mind to "Stop or Die!"

I guess I'm sort of glad I didn't keep going
in because it looks like it would have been
scary as hell to go down there.

Give me a friggin' BREAK! CREEEEEPY!

I tried to phone Johnny to tell him about this cool
but extremely eerie graveyard but my damn phone
would not work even though it said I had reception.

How could I have never seen this place before?!

Anyway, I went back there today to take some EMF readings and use some of the other paranormal investigative gear I have and guess what!? I can't find the fuckin' place! What the shit? I asked this old dude who was mowing his lawn where the old cemetery was and he didn't know what I was talking about. He kept telling me to go to the Fraser Cemetery but I told him politely that he was as batty as they come and to go take a flying fuckin' leap. He told me to "Go jump in a lake and fly a fuckin' kite!" I decided that I'd take 'the Obama route'; end it there and say good-bye to the old coot and left scratching my head. Where the fuck is it!? Am I losing my god-damn mind!?