MAMMATUS CLOUDS!

An extremely rare formation of clouds, Mammatus clouds, made their way just south of my home Sunday night. Not a stellar example but I'll take Mammatus clouds when I can get'em.



Here is the beginning of the cloud formation just north-east of the Mammatus.

DOG BLESS AMERICA

A few years back I discovered a German artist was putting tiny American flags on piles of dog shit. So I joined in and made a bunch of flags on toothpicks and claimed a lot of new territory for the US including these three fine plops which I claimed just yesterday.


A note to my American friends and neighbours: I promise that I'll stop doing this as soon as the Republicans leave office.

ROCK-AFIRE EXPLOSION

Thanks Kevin Webb!

Yet another awesome documentary! The trailer is super-fantastique!


The Rock-afire Explosion Movie Trailer from The Rock-afire Explosion on Vimeo.

MY RETARDED FRIEND!

A little while back I blogged about my new ENEMY: A mentally and fecally challenged man who hates my guts because I scolded him for not letting a man have the seat next to him. Boy do we ever hate each other's guts. Well it seems the universe works in mysterious ways because shortly after deciding to make this retarded man my enemy, the cosmos almost instantaneously manifested for me a retarded friend! Her name is Nicky.

My new friend Nicky!

I was on my way home from work and I'd just got off the Skytrain and grabbed a connector bus. This isn't the station I usually transfer from but today I tried a new route. So I took my seat and immediately a woman says "Hello" to an older lady seated two seats away from me. The older lady responds politely and I think maybe they know each other. Then the woman says "Hello" to me and sits down between the older lady and myself. I respond politely and realize that this woman is mentally challenged when she says to me "What's your name?" "I'm Johnny, what's yours?" "I'm Nicky! So John where are you going?" "Ah...home." "Where's that John?" "Oh...um...about a kilometer from here." "How far is a kilometer John?" "Hmmmm. About 1000 meters." "So where you going John?" "I'm going home." "Where's that John?" "It's about a thousand meters from here. Where are you going Nick?" "I'm going home. Where are you going John?" That is pretty much exactly it word-for-word. At this point I realized that this conversation's a tad lack-luster so I go back to my music and play the solitaire game on my iPod. As I listened to my music I was aware that Nicky was talking but I couldn't hear what she was saying when suddenly, after about a minute, she's poking me. I pull off the headphones "Yeah?" "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU JOHN?" "Pardon?" "What's wrong John? I've been talking to you!" "Oh, sorry I was listening to my music. What were you saying?" "Where are you going John?" "ohhhh...home..." and I slowly put my headphones back on. At this point she gets up and moves across and takes a seat facing me, smiling occasionally. Finally my stop arrives and I get up smile and say "See ya Nicky!" to which she replied "Where are you going John?"

When I was growing up, our family friends up the road had a retarded son Peter who was just a few years older than me. Though he'd past puberty many years ago, and his voice had dropped, he repressed this deeper voice and held onto a higher more child-like voice. Occasionally this voice would crack and suddenly a deep-voiced word or two would creak out of his mouth. It was awkward to listen to. One Thanksgiving dinner a bunch of families got together to have a nice dinner at a semi-posh restaurant. One of the fathers had just finished saying grace when Peter, in his high, squeaky voice, quite loudly said, "OH BOY! WHO CUT THE CHEESE?!"

HUGE CALCULATOR!

I found myself in the Petro-Can today buying me up some snacks when I was suddenly floored by my man Ali's HUGE CALCULATOR! I said, "Holy shit-balls that's a big calculator!" to which he replied, "Yes it is." I left the store shaking my head in disbelief and then it dawned on me; no one will ever believe me. I turned back and asked him, "Can I take a picture of you with your HUGE CALCULATOR?" to which he replied, "Yes you can." "How come it's so big?" "Because I don't like the little ones." He's right. The little ones are pathetic. If you want to see this whopping-big calculator for yourself, head over to the Petro-Can station on Clarke & Broadway. YOU WON'T BELIEVE YOUR EYES! I only wish I asked him to punch in "5318008" and hold it upside down.

WAVY-GRAVY-DENIM-DAVEY

Davey has it going on! Denim shirt buttoned right down as far as the tucked-in shirt can go. My shitty phone-cam doesn't quite capture his pure essence but if you had as much golden chest hair as Davey has, you'd flaunt it too. Maybe he's not flaunting it. Maybe he can't get the buttons done up with all the chest hair getting in the way. I'm not lying whatsoever here but the little embroidery above the pocket actually reads "UP WITH PEOPLE!" I was dying to ask him what he was rockin' out to on his walkman but didn't have the nerve. My guesses: Jethro Tull, Fleetwood Mac, Gentle Giant, Yes, or Hawkwind.

2012: THE RETURN OF QUETZALCOATL

I've been hearing lots about the year 2012 over the past few years and decided to read up on the subject. I just picked up this book by Daniel Pinchbeck on the weekend and am enjoying it. Basically, most of the ancient indigenous cultures saw life in cycles and most of those cycles, according to their "predictions" are coming to an end. As Pinchbeck explains, the year 2012 is not the end of THE world, but the end of A world. A major paradigm shift is approaching the human psyche and as a result, we may be entering a new phase of understanding of just how world works and our inter-connections with each other and the environments we live in.




We as a society rely so much on goods provided to us and have access to anything we want the one thing we fail to access or have lost is our deeper connection to the natural forces that our ancestors knew. Scientists provide for us theories of relativity, black holes, string theories, etc. These modern theories are no different than myths; proposed thoughts and ideas of how the world works. For thousands of years, our ancestors lived more attuned to our environment and the result was thousands of years of sustainability. Their myths of how the world worked are just as valid as the theories proposed in Hawking's Brief History of Time.

In just 200 or so years, our current Western culture has abused our environment so drastically that we're freaking out about sustainability and the future of the environment and humanity etc. Is it time that we start to detach ourselves from our current understanding of the world and reacquaint ourselves with indigenous philosophies?

GOBLIN SHARK

Thanks Dustin!

I don't want this thing anywhere near me ever at all!

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

MACH DICE

ABSENT GROTESQUE FONT

THE KING OF ROCK AND ROLL

BEAUTIFUL LOSERS

Looking forward to this documentary.


Beautiful Losers film trailer from beautifullosersfilm on Vimeo.

HOW TO GET INTO ANYWHERE BY CLAIMING YOU'RE THE DJ

Learn how to hack at 5min.com

ARNOLD PUNCHES AN HORSE

SCHOOL OF DESIGN: NEW BBC SERIES

I'm looking forward to this new series being developed right now. Though I'm not moved by most of Starck's work, it will be cool to see what the students come up with. It would be cooler, for me at least, if the Beeb did a show featuring more on guerrilla urban art and design.

OKTAPODI

thanks Kevin Webb!
The students at Gobelins L'ecole de L'image's put out some superb work every year. The animation dept. is especially keen.

You can peruse previous years' work too which includes 2007's action/comedy/romance between two Octopi, called Oktapodi. It's pretty stellar like previous Goblelin's work, Pyrats and Burning Safari...

SASQUATCH BODY FOUND --- HOAX

Thanks Karnowski! Thanks Scott F.!

UPDATE...According to the BFRO, the thing is a hoax perpetrated by a known hoaxer. Here are the details.

UPDATE...here are a couple of photos



UPDATE...I just saw the photos and they don't look too convincing. Will post them as soon as they're loaded...

If this proves to be true it will be the biggest news ever. The website is currently being overloaded so it's taking about 20 minutes to load but a friend copied the press release for me and I'm presenting it here:

I have just talked with Robert Barrows, R.M. Barrows, Inc., Advertising & Public Relations, Burlingame, California, who informed me the following release has been distributed to news agencies worldwide. It is now in the hands of the media at large, and they will be going with this story. The embargo on the news is lifted. Therefore, here it is for Cryptomundo readers.

I feel, in all honesty, this, indeed, may be the real deal, and I say this carefully after reviewing information that has been shared privately with me. I cannot say more yet. But people will be very surprised. ~ Loren Coleman, Bigfoot! The True Story of Apes in America.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
August 12, 2008
BIGFOOT BODY FOUND
DNA evidence and photo evidence to be presented at a
PRESS CONFERENCE
to be held on
Date: Friday, August 15, 2008
Time: From 12Noon-1:00pm
Place: Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto (A Crown Plaza Resort) 4290 El Camino Real, Palo Alto, California 94306

Searching for Bigfoot, Inc. Menlo Park, California
Tom Biscardi, CEO

BIGFOOT BODY FOUND - EVIDENCE AND DNA DETAILS TO BE PRESENTED AT A PRESS CONFERENCE ON FRIDAY, AUGUST 15th

FROM 12 N00N TO 1:00PM AT THE CABANA HOTEL-PALO ALTO IN PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA

A body that may very well be the body of the creature commonly known as “Bigfoot” has been found in the woods in northern Georgia.

DNA evidence and photo evidence of the creature will be presented in a press conference on Friday, August 15th from 12 Noon to 1:00pm at the Cabana Hotel-Palo Alto at 4290 El Camino Real in Palo Alto, California, 94306. The press conference will not be open to the public. It will only be open to credentialed members of the press.
Here are some of the vital statistics on the “Bigfoot” body:
*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
*It weighs over five hundred pounds.
*The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
*It is male.
*It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.
*It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and
five toes on each foot.
*The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
*Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
*From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are
eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
*The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
*The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.
*DNA tests are currently being done and the current DNA and photo evidence will be presented at the press conference on Friday, August 15th.

The creature was found by Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer (residents of Georgia) in the woods in northern Georgia. (The exact location is being kept secret to protect the creatures.)
Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer will be flying in from Georgia to be at the press conference. Also present at the press conference will be Tom Biscardi, CEO of Searching for Bigfoot, Inc.
Whitton is a Clayton County, Georgia, police officer, who is currently on administrative leave after being wounded in the course of duty pursuing an alleged felon. Dyer is a former correctional officer. Whitton and Dyer are co-owners of bigfoottracker.com and Bigfoot Global LLC., a company that offers Bigfoot expeditions. Whitton and Dyer are working with Bigfoot hunter, Tom Biscardi, and Biscardi’s Searching for Bigfoot, Inc., to present and conduct the scientific study of the evidence and information on this body.
A few weeks ago, Whitton and Dyer announced the finding of the body on the “Squatch Detective” radio show, an internet based radio show hosted by Steve Kulls. While on that show, the commentator asked Rick Dyer “Would you allow one of our people to come down and verify the body?” Dyer replied, “The only person we would allow to come down and verify the body was ‘the real Bigfoot Hunter,’ Tom Biscardi.” The next day, the producer of the Squatch Detective show contacted Biscardi with pertinent information on how to contact Dyer and Whitton.
Extensive scientific studies will be done on the body by a team of scientists including a molecular biologist, an anthropologist, a paleontologist and other scientists over the next few months at an undisclosed location. The studies will be carefully documented and the findings will be released to the world, according to Biscardi.
Biscardi is known as “the real Bigfoot Hunter” because of his extensive investigations out in the field. He has been searching for Bigfoot since 1971 and over the past several years, he has been criss-crossing the United States and Canada tracking down the hottest leads on Bigfoot sightings.
Videography on the studies will be done under the supervision of Scott Davis, an independent producer and owner of TV Biz Productions in Phoenix, Arizona.
Currently, Tom Biscardi and his Searching for Bigfoot Team, in conjunction with Bigfoot Global LLC., are preparing to capture another of these creatures alive. That expedition will start very soon. The dates and the locations are being kept confidential.
The body that is currently being studied is being referred to as the “RICKMAT” creature, a name derived from the names of Rick Dyer and Matthew Whitton. [Cryptozoologist Loren Coleman recommends the term “Georgia Gorilla” be used to remove any taint of ego from the discovery, and so the general public, media, and science will have a comfortable moniker until a formal zoological name may be bestowed.]
Last year, a film that Biscardi produced about his investigations, called “Bigfoot Lives,” won first place in the Documentary category at the Pocono Mountains Film Festival. Biscardi also hosts a Bigfoot oriented internet radio show that can be heard on Wednesday nights from 7:00pm to 8:00pm PDT at www.bigfootliveradioshow.com. The show is heard in over thirty countries.
Searching for Bigfoot, Inc. has exclusive rights to all publishing rights, photo rights, television and film rights, production and distribution rights and other commercial opportunities related to the discovery and findings regarding this body and these creatures.
Interested parties may contact Searching for Bigfoot, Inc., in writing, at their mailing address, 1134 Crane St., Suite 216, Menlo Park, California 94025.

CUNTBLOCKER 5000

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

LARGE HADRON COLLIDER

I get the feeling that the Large Hadron Collider is actually a super-villain's enormous super-weapon housed in the evil headquarters which is in the guise of a scientific research facility. Think about it: If you were a super-villain; the kind you'd find in James Bond movies, and you're going to set up a massive missile silo/rocket launch pad/electro magnetic disruptor ray-gun super-station, your plans would be foiled almost immediately when some inspector knocks on the door to see if you have certain permits for your not-too-subtle super-base that is going to take you years to build. So you kidnap or kill the inspector but before long, some Intelligence agency sends a super-spy to shut you down. So I think that what we have here: a bunch of naer-do-well scientists (super-villainous) have been building a machine that'll destroy the Earth unless their demands for kazillions of dollars are met. No one has caught on to them yet because they've been convincing people that it's actually a research facility that is going to do some incredible, highly complex, mind-boggling tests for the sake of the universe.




So what are these super-villainous scientistific master-minds up to exactly? Well they claim that they're going to fire a couple of protons at each other through a 27 km underground tube and see what happens. Their goal is to witness and record what happened nanoseconds after the big-bang through a "re-creation". Some "side-effects" of this experiment might be micro black holes opening up under the Earth, strangelets (strange matter), and Lectoids emerging into our material plane from the 8th Dimension. They've begun the cooling process and in September they'll fire a test proton through the system and then on my birthday, Oct. 21, they'll officially fire the colliding protons! SWEET BABY JESUS! Here's the project's official site.










(Copied from Wikipedia) The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is a particle accelerator complex intended to collide opposing beams of 7 TeV protons. Its main purpose is to explore the validity and limitations of the Standard Model, the current theoretical picture for particle physics. This model is known to break down at a certain high energy level.

The LHC is being built by the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN), and lies under the Franco-Swiss border near Geneva, Switzerland. The LHC will become the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator. It is funded and built in collaboration with over two thousand physicists from thirty-four countries as well as hundreds of universities and laboratories.

The collider is currently undergoing commissioning while being cooled down to its final operating temperature of approximately 1.9 K (−271.25 °C). The initial particle beams are due for injection in August 2008, the first attempt to circulate beam through the entire LHC is scheduled for September 10, 2008, and the first high-energy collisions are planned to take place after the LHC is officially unveiled, on October 21, 2008.

When activated, it is theorized that the collider will produce the elusive Higgs boson, the observation of which could confirm the predictions and "missing links" in the Standard Model of physics and could explain how other elementary particles acquire properties such as mass. The verification of the existence of the Higgs boson would be a significant step in the search for a Grand Unified Theory, which seeks to unify three of the four known fundamental forces: electromagnetism, the strong nuclear force and the weak nuclear force, leaving out only gravity. The Higgs boson may also help to explain why gravitation is so weak compared to the other three forces. In addition to the Higgs boson, other theorized novel particles that might be produced, and for which searches are planned, include strangelets, micro black holes, magnetic monopoles and supersymmetric particles.

HERE! HERE!

WINDEX FANTASY PORTAL

Another knob-gobbling Duncan Brothers short:

MONTAUK MONSTER UPDATE

Known as the Montauk Monster, it was supposedly dragged to shore by a surfer who claimed that he didn't want to be surfing next to this crazy corpse. There is still no word as to what kind of creature it is. More at Cryptomundo! and here's a CNN news report