MONKEY RIDES MOTORCYCLE

Thanks Big Andy!

I'd love to see this little fella untethered at a race track! In fact, can you imagine if there were ramps too? And pyrotechnics? And laser sharks? Hell screw all that! Just mount two cameras to the bike; one facing forwards and another on the monkey's face and then have him zip off down a highway weaving through traffic. HOLY GOD...does anyone know where I can get a monkey?


A sloth would be ironically comical too but you'd have to duct tape the hands to the bars with the throttle cranked and then let it go and hope for the best. Sloths aren't known for steering anything very well.

FRED & SHARON HOT SCOOP!!

Okay, so on the end of Fred & Sharon's "Tribute to Students and Troops" there's a credit for a musician named Paul Shipley so I did a Google search and found a Paul Shipley in Kelowna so I contacted him!

Hello Paul,

I'm not sure if you're the right Paul Shipley so if it's a case of mistaken identity, I apologize.

I got your name off the end credits of a "home movie" where your name is credited for the music. The film makers are from Kelowna so I chance that you are the right Paul.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIyRpykHq74&eurl=http://halfsquatch.blogspot.com/

I really like the tune (especially near the end when it gets a bit trippy). I was wondering if you could settle a bet I'm having with some friends. Some of my friends think that the video is a joke and that Fred & Sharon are just actors. I however don't believe so.

I'd appreciate your help!

Many thanks,
Johnny

___________________

Hi Johnny,

Yes, that’s me playing the guitar. The tune is an instrumental version of Blind Gary Davis’ Cocaine Blues. Stefan Grossman teaches it in one of his instructional videos that’s now on youtube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHR1xk8Rp5k . Fred and Sharon must have added a pile of chorus effect for the last minute or so of the video.

Fred and Sharon are not actors, they run a small baking business in Peachland and sell their breads at the local farmers markets. The movies are consistent with their characters, and they are serious about it. I do see why people would wonder though. They do make one of the greatest sandwich breads ever, and are really nice people.

Hope this helps, and that you get decent beer out of the bet,

Paul

EIFFEL TOWER'S FACELIFT

Serero Architectes just unveiled its winning bid to create an observation deck on the famous tower. Made of a high performance carbon Kevlar, the mushrooming platform will extend the current observation deck from 208 m2 to 580 m2.

GROSSOLOGY

Nelvana and Discovery Channel's Flash/Toonboom series Grossology is pretty slick looking. My 6-year old son thinks it's pretty awesome. Based on a book series by the same name and then the Disovery Channel's live and interactive science exhibit.

The book

The exhibit

In the series, siblings Ty and Abby work for The Department of Grossology, a top-secret organization that solves gross mysteries based on real scientific fact. The two might go up against some sort of mucus monster or poo creature. There's snot and slime and maggots and vomit throughout the series. The stuff that fascinates a kid. For me, it's the art direction and the show's opening credits were pretty nice, taking a Saul Bass approach.

The show

They've just revamped the opening credits however and pushed the art direction and style even more and it's REALLY REALLY sweet. Very Saul Bass meets The Incredibles' end credits.

I've scoured the webbernet to find the new opening credits and have had no luck finding them but here's the animatic for the new opening.

LAB TESTS PROVE THAT STABBING MONKEYS MORE HARMFUL THAN PUNCHING

FRED & SHARON'S TRIBUTE TO STUDENTS & TROOPS

Remember, don't do drugs and don't inhale.

NUTRIGAIN AD

Here's one of my favourite commercials of all time...

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD FRED

AS GOOD AS IT GETS

OSOYOOSQUATCH

It seems like the interior of British Columbia is THE PLACE to be! First we got Fred & Sharon's Video Movie productions going on and now a giant bronze sculpture of sasquatch has been erected on the side of the highway between Osoyoos and Rock Creek. My pals Todd "HONKBARN" Ramsay and Ashley happened to see it and got this remarkably clear picture.


I love how lousy the sculpture is and it'll look even lousier when it corrodes to green. It appears that the "artist" has gone with the typical and over-used "Patty" pose. He/she couldn't even fathom to think of something else. Just look at the terrible proportions on the creature (and on Todd as well). Its thigh looks like it got hit by a truck. I guess the one cool thing about it is that despite its weird proportions it's (roughly) life-sized.

Sasquatch

TRADITIONAL EASTER POSTING

(originally posted april 05, 2006)
Here's an Easter picture I did in grade 1 or 2. We were asked to draw the meaning of Easter. Not being much of a religioner or Christ-liker, and not knowing much about that stupid Christian religionism, this is what I came up with:


The spear-holding roman guardy guy in black says "Today is the day when we take jesus down." Then the blue roman guardy guy says "Big deal." This is historically accurate.

ED FORCE 1

I used to like Iron Maiden and I still like some of their classics. The band's front man, Bruce Dickenson was great!

Bruce being great!

I kinda fell out of touch with the band after high school and never listened to anything Bruce did solo wise, so I don't really know how their new stuff is.

They are however on a world tour. Of course, a band like Iron Maiden can only tour the world one way...

ED FORCE 1

The full-sized 757 was converted into a passenger/cargo jet for $50,000 and comes complete with a fireplace, three master bedroom suites with vibrating beds, a wall of Marshall amps, a number of "stewardesses," a “Satan is my co-pilot” bumper sticker and of course their own pilot.

Check out the pilot giving the "horns." Oh...wait...check out the pilot...it's Bruce Dickenson!

The front man is a commerical airline pilot! Wait there's more! There's a couple of Maiden concerts in July & August and the best way to see them is to travel to the concert with Maiden and Capt. Dickenson on Ed Force 1.

DUBAI'S DEATH STAR

I'm like a year behind on this but architect and founder of the Office for Metropolitan Architecture Rem Koolhaas is proposing to add to Dubai's already INSANE construction plans (go to Google Earth and check out what's being done) by designing a building that looks fiercely familiar to a planet-destroyer we all know.

The Ras al Khaimah Convention and Exhibition Centre holds a convention centre, hotel rooms, apartments, offices, god damn retail space and a massive superlaser. But that's not even the beginning! The 44-story planet-destroying building sits on the corner of a proposed near square 1.5 billion square foot man-made island in the middle of Dubai.

Rem and his team propose to remove the existing ground and allow the sea water to flow in to create their fantasy island. His plan for "Waterfront City" doesn't just include the island itself but its 4 surrounding areas as well.

ENGRAVED MOLESKINE NOTEBOOKS

I love my Moleskine notebooks (though I admit to not using one in a while) but having a personalized cover would make it better. The people at Engrave can do just that. Just upload an image of your own and they'll laser etch it onto your own Moleskine. They suggest using an image that would look good as a b&w xerox copy.

It'll cost you about 30 rocks for the first book and if you order more, it's about 5 clams per book more and another fin if you want something on the spine. Add 12 bones for shipping to Canada. So it'll cost you much more than the book itself but man you'd look smart.

Oh and one other thing. You can submit your own designs as well to Engrave and if they like them, they'll post them up on their site. If anyone decides they want your design on their Moleskine, Engrave will give you a cut of the dough. I don't know why anyone would rather choose someone else's design instead of creating one themself but I guess that's the same as choosing a tattoo from a tattoo parlour's wall.

Interview With Fred and Sharon

ARTHUR C. CLARKE DEAD AT 90

The (almost) Knight and Grand Master (a title bestowed upon him by the Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America) is dead at the grand old age of 90.

According to my pal Scott F., the reason he doesn't go by SIR Arthur C. Clarke is because "although the queen wanted to Knight him, she was advised not to because he moved to Sri Lanka where it was legal for him to 'pump' little boys and if she did knight him, she would be condoning his actions." Hrrmmm.

MAFIA'S MISSIN' SOME STUFF

Uhhh....Beadle? You might wanna delete your last blog post....

ORIGINS OF BAT BOY?!

This weekend, the infamous John Dryden made a startling discovery while digging through the trenches of Google Images and found this picture:


John then had the quick mental deftness of an idiot savant to realize that it looked familiar and immediately (.00432 seconds) realized that it might actually be the photo in which Weekly World News used to create Bat Boy.


The untouched photo of the kid is most likely a stock photo which both WWN and Richmond Recruiting used.

I once ordered a Bat Boy poster from the WWN and when it arrived I autographed it "To Craig, Keep reaching for the stars! Your friend, Bat Boy!" and gave it to Craig McEwen. The poster ruled. Here's a great wikipedia link on Bat Boy!

POST CARD PRANK

A little while ago, your pal Beadle bought himself a carved wooden deer head. It took about 6 weeks to arrive and when it finally did, one of the antlers was broken. Koolhaus said "you can glue it back on!" and Colin said "You can order me another!" Unfortunately this would take another 6 weeks.

Meanwhile, John Dryden was heading down to Argentina for 6 weeks and we wanted to pull a post card prank on someone so we figured that Colin would be our mark. Finally, on Thursday night when Colin got home from work the mysterious post card was now in his possession. You can read Colin's post here!

My favourite line and yours "...or I make a slap on your face!"

RAILWAY MOOSE HUNTING

The worst way to hunt moose. Not only does the moose have to be on the tracks, but you also need your own train. Then, once you've killed the poor creature, you can't do anything with it because it's all torn to shreds!


Moose Tries To Outrun Train - Watch more free videos

FOOD COURT MUSICAL

Improv Everywhere, the people who brought you Frozen Grand Central, breaks into song and dance at a food court in L.A.

BENJAMIN LEARNS ABOUT THE MARTIAL ARTS

Thanks Peter Hogan!

ROLL-TO-ROLL PRINTABLE OLED LIGHTS

Printed light hot off the press!

General Electric just announced its breakthrough in creating "Roll-to-roll" OLEDs (Organic Light Emitting Diodes). By "roll-to-roll" they're talking along the lines of a newspaper printing press; whereby the light-emitting film gets printed in mass quantities. GE has been working on making this happen for 4 years and they've finally done it, though they say it won't really be available to consumers for a few years yet. They figure by2010 we'll be seeing OLEDs in public places but it won't be for another 5-10 years until the technology will be able to produce something consumers will be fully satisfied with. Head over to GE's blog entry!

You can also read more about it here!

FRED & SHARON'S MOVIE VIDEO PRODUCTION

"MAKE YOUR LIFE GO BETTER!"

It looks like their site has collapsed due to excessive bandwidth consumption. Head over to Fred's personal YouTube site and check out more of their awesome stuff!!!!

Below, Fred responds with mad props to another film-maker's video about a farmer's market with a video comment while listening to The Jesus & Mary Chain.



And here is a video movie production of a farmer's market on Hallowe'en. It showcases a snapshot of the Vernon farmer's market but more importantly, it's a great example of Fred's exciting journalism interviewing skills and cutting-edge editing techniques. My favourite part is at the 4:28 mark when Fred asks a girl dressed up like a bicycler to repeat what he just missed so she says "Happy Hallowe'en!" and then Fred zooms in on her face and it goes unconventionally out-of-focus while she blankly stares into the camera ...we're waiting...waiting...and then "CUT!" Talk about creepy suspense!!!!

ZACH & TIM & ERIC & ABSOLUT

Thanks Chris Fink!



Find more videos like this on aspecialthing

FRED & SHARON'S MOVIE PRODUCTIONS

Thanks Nathan Thomas & Andrew Hudec!

Head over to Fred & Sharon's Movie Production site! The couple are from Vernon, BC and they really know their stuff. They're available for pretty much any type of production service including cutting-edge CGI animation. Their compositing skills aren't the greatest, but I do work with very talented compositors on a daily basis so it might be that I'm just a bit picky.

They say, "Who needs a movie? Getting Married? Got a web site? Fund raising? Commercials? Selling something? Movies can make your life go better!!"

THE ILLUSIONATORS

More from Human Giant and this time poking fun at the laughable and shitty Criss Angel!

PERSONAL NUCLEAR REACTOR

Thanks Ken Henderson!


Toshiba is going to install their first itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny micro nuclear reactor sometime this year somewhere in Japan. The unit will only be about 20' x 6' and will be powerful enough to power individual apartment complexes or small communities. Supposedly these new units are fool-proof and fail-safe. Click here for more science!

THE GOON: FANCY PANTS VOL. 2

I've ordered mine! Pre-order yours now!

MY LOGO, BY DRYDEN

I updated it because of a great suggestion from Ken Henderson who said that all it needed was some kind of treatment that would make some element appear like it was 3D. I took the pentagram and lightning bolt and gave it an amazing inner-bevel effect which really brings my logo into the future. Great idea Ken. Now I really can't wait until this thing is actually on everyone's sneakers.


Here's John Dryden's well received rendering of my logo. According to Dryden, "If you look at it closely, you will plainly see that it is THE ULTIMATE LOGO." He's right. I have designed an incredible logo. John made it better because it has my favourite hockey team's logo incorporated into it as well as he's gone above and beyond the line of duty to take it upon himself to change the sickle thing that's all chrome and sharp to a ninja star which, according to Dryden, is "pretty goddamn radical. I'd rather be dead than red!" He also states "This fucking logo god damn rules." Oh, I know Dryden, I know. I've booked a session at Vinnie's Tattoo Parlour on Sunday to have it etched into my neck.

MY LOGO, BY BUTLER

Clint Butler began working on my logo but then just stopped suddenly saying that I was a terrible client. Why? Because I had TONS of CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM? Jesus, Clint!? Who ever heard of a majestic wing being soot coloured? When i think "majestic" I think Farrah Fawcette's feathered hair or even Shawn Cassidy's! Also, since when did Evel Knievel's stars and stripes look like garbage?!

FLESHWALKER'S OFFERING

Prepare yourself for FLESHWALKER'S OFFERING! I get chills just thinking about it! Filmed in glorious Squamish, Andrew Duncan and I employed a unique filtering system in order to capture the footage as you see it. I don't know of any other film maker that has dared to employ this look. We are extremely happy with the results you see below. ENJOY...but be warned! 'Tis not for a prancing dandy-lad's heart...

R.I.P. GARY GYGAX

Gary Gygax (legendary creator of Dungeons & Dragons) passed away this morning at home. He had been in poor health lately suffering multiple strokes and a near heart-attack. Rumours on the internet are claiming he didn't make his saving throw vs. death when a Beholder entered his bedroom and won initiative. I don't think there is any truth to this rumour. In fact I know so, seeing as I started it.

Thanks Gary for creating a game which has brought a ton of enjoyment to my world.

"Okay, wiseguy, now please, for
the last time, give me back my dice bag?"

MY LOGO

If anyone wants to do up a professional version of my sketch for my personal logo, I'd be eternally thankful. It has to be able to translate well in 3D for flying logos and make everyone who sees it say "wow." It already commands respect but if someone did it up really pro, I can't see how I wouldn't be able to take over the world. I love "pentagroms."

CAN WE TALK BUMPER STICKERS FOR A MOMENT?

A while ago, John Dryden took this picture of a bumper sticker which read "I Love Vallarta" and he was ranting about how mad he was about it. I can't recall what made him so mad about this bumper sticker in particular but boy was he ever choked. I photoshopped up his picture and sent it back to him (see picture below). John, perhaps you could elaborate (see comments for John's elaboration).


Hey, while we're on about John Dryden and bumper stickers, here's a little story. A while ago, John and I went out for lunch and we were driving around looking for a parking spot in downtown Van. at lunch hour. Frustrating. Then he suddenly thought he found one. He tried parking but no, one of the cars had parked like a jackass and we couldn't fit. John had had enough. He said "Hey, reach under your seat and hand me one of those." I reached under and found a bumper sticker which read "I park like an asshole." He grabbed it out of my hands and stormed off, applied the bumper sticker to the car and off we went.

HORLICKS

Saw these chocolate malties called Horlicks at a store near Chinatown a little while back. I think the three mascots are either krumping or they may be pop-locking. It's hard to tell.

EDITING 101

A few years ago at Mainframe, the management thought it would be good if everyone in the building had a clearer understanding of the various departments. Each monthly staff meeting someone from one department would get up and talk about what it is that they do etc. Usually pretty dry and boring so when Greg and I were asked to talk about the Editing dept. we thought that we'd show a video instead. Again, pretty dry and boring.