A SIGHT SO WONDEROUS TO BEHOLD!

It still gives me shivers...

Click on the image above for a euphoric high.

FAMILY CIRCUS EXPLAINED!

There's no denying it; you're one of two kinds of people: the kind that LOVES the Family Circus or the kind that just doesn't get it. Here are some of my favourites with an explanation for clarity.


A classic! Billy has been doing his homework and has been practicing printing words with a silent K. He has printed the following words: Know, Knot, Knee and Knob. He then asks an unseen family member (I presume) why he has to bother writing the "k" in these words even though they don't make any sound. You now what? He's right!!! Why bother?

In this panel, the baby, PJ, is on the phone with his grandmother. Dolly is getting a little upset with PJ because she wants to talk to her grandmother too but can't because PJ won't stop hugging his "grandmother." What PJ doesn't realize is that he's not really hugging his grandma but rather, he is hugging just an old-tymey phone-receiver. I did the very same thing lots of times. I can totally relate.

Jeffy has come home from school and is crying because he has fallen on the sidewalk. What makes this panel a killer-comic-for-the-ages is that Jeffy has mistakenly called the sidewalk a "SLIDEwalk!" It's very funny for those that get it.

Another Jeffy classic. Jeffy and his mother have been have a little moment together. His mother has just finished telling Jeffy a few funny things he had done when he was a bit younger. Jeffy then says "What else did I do that was funny when I was little?" because he wants to hear more funny things he's done when he was younger.

An oldie but a goodie! This one is one of my all time favourites and it's from the 60's. Here's the scoop: Dolly and Billy and their father (their biological father -- the father that most of you know is their step-father. The mother divorced the man seen in this panel because of alcoholism) have just come home from a football game. They are excited to tell their mother all about the fun they've had. One of the things that they were excited about was the fact that they each got to have a bottle of soda (if it were up to me, I would have had a bottle of Dr. Pepper) and were surprised to find that their dad brought his own bottle of "soda" along in his jacket pocket. Now, I'm not Kreskin, but I am guessing that this wasn't a bottle of soda, but a flask filled with some form of alcoholic beverage--maybe whiskey. What makes this comic a blast is the look on the father's face! He's gone blotto-in-the-grotto and needs to hit the sack. You can tell the times have changed because he drove the kids home from the game absolutely smashed--you'd never see something like this in today's modern funnies -- well, maybe Andy Capp -- wait...I just got it! Andy Capp = Handycap (but with a silent H)! BRILLIANCE!!! BRILLIANCE!!!!!!

MAN VS. MISSILE COMMAND

Saw a great documentary last night called "High Score." It follows a kind gentleman by the name of Bill Carlton who is determined to beat the current high score of 80 million points on the classic upright console video game "Missile Command." To take out this 20-year-old record he's going to need to play the game for over 72 hours non-stop. There are no pause buttons on these classic 25-year-old games. What's fascinating is how after playing for 16 hours straight on one session, and then having the console itself shut-down from exhaustion, he just takes it in zen-like stride. No big deal. "I'm too good for the machine."

You can see the trailer here or go to the official doc website here.

BRAIN-CONTROL

Holy crapinoli! This is pretty crazy big!

TRAPPED-IN-AN-ALIEN-GROTTO PICKS

Mission Log: 20/45.356/40/900. I've accidentally crash landed on the dark side of the distant, hostile and volcanic planet Andromalavalis and found refuge in a grotto. I'm certain that no one will be coming to rescue me so I'm stuck here for a hell of a long time. The only thing that survived the crash (besides myself) is a can of farting beans, my mini leatherman and my Sony Discman (good thing I splurged and bought the Sports Shockwave) and my CD collection. The major problem was that my CD space-travel wallet could only hold 20 discs so I had to choose my selection carefully. Here is a database of the discs I have picked (in no particular order) to keep me from going bananas:

1. Wilco - Being There Disc 1
2. Wilco - Being There Disc 2
3. Tapes 'n Tapes - The Loon
4. Beck - The Information
5. Califone - Sometimes Good Weather Follows Bad People
6. The Clash - Sandinista Disc 1
7. The Clash - Sandinista Disc 2
8. Destroyer - Streethawk: A Seduction
9. Fischerspooner - Odyssey
10. Fugazi - In On The Kill Taker
11. I Monster - Neveroddoreven
12. Mogwai - Happy Songs For Happy People
13. Primal Scream - Vanishing Point
14. Sebastien Tellier - L'incroyable vérité
15. Spoon - Girls Can Tell
16. Boards of Canada - The Campfire Headphase
17. Klaxons - Myths of the Near Future
18. Low - Secret Name
19. Sinoia Caves - Enchanter Persuaded
20. Primal Scream - Evil Heat

I would have taken these discs but they weren't in their cases!?! Where the hell did I put them?

Pixies - Doolittle
Moving Units - Dangerous Dreams
Melvins - Stoner Witch
Jimi Tenor - Out of Nowhere
Sonic Youth - Goo

Now I've tried to make myself comfortable between two stalagmites on what could best be described as a huge pile of guano and I'm going to start listening to some music.

RADIATION SYMBOL UPGRADE

Oh boy. I'd better get into the hospital. I was wondering what that symbol meant...

click image for more info...

REMISSION IMPOSSIBLE / ON THE LOT

My buddy Ken Hegan made this short film for last year's Crazy 8's Film Festival. Craig McEwen did the no-less-than-stellar opening titles! The short film is called Remission Impossible and it's about a couple of scientists who make a startling discovery--and they also find the cure for cancer. Ken is entering this film in the Spielberg/Mark Burnett reality series On The Lot. Over the season, the 16 filmmakers will produce short films in every genre every week and the viewers will vote on who gets eliminated. The winning filmmaker will take home a $1 Million development deal! Good luck Ken!

click the scientists for quicktime (4:00 - 3 mb)

OSAMA TEEN HUNGER FORCE

click image for video

KITTY

I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's something different about this sweet little kitten.


I've been asked now countless number of times whether this is some Photoshop tom-foolery of mine. I can assure you that this kitten, (I'm going to call it "Winky") is real. For more crazy-lookin' cats, check them all out here!

KITSAULT

There's a ghost town in northern BC called Kitsault. What's cool about this ghost town is that it's relatively new and nearly completely intact. In the mid-to-late 70's, a mining company wanted to extract the abundant molybdenum deposits in northern BC. The big problem was that it was extremely remote and absolutely no one lived anywhere near the area, so the mining company decided to build a town and bring the people there to work.

There was/is more than 100 single family homes and duplexes, seven apartment buildings with a total of 202 suites. There's a theatre, a library, a post-office, a (then)-modern hospital, a shopping centre that's something like 22,000 sq. feet, restaurants, banks, an indoor public pool, two recreation centres and most importantly, a curling rink and a pub. Underground cable and phone lines were put in place as well as a state of the art sewage treatment plant and the cleanest running water in the province. It was an instant town.

In 1980, families started moving in, a Knight & Day restaurant opened and the town was 'a-hoppin.' Then, 18 months later, molybdenum prices that had sky-rocketed suddenly crashed and the mine had to shut down. Everyone just up-and-left, leaving their groovy furniture and Kitsault dreams behind.

Today, the only inhabitants are a caretaker, who looks after cutting the lawns, a family of foxes and an occasional grizzly bear that wanders in to scavenge fallen fruit. Up the valley under a lush green old growth forest still lies 110 million tons of molybdenum.

A few years ago, the town finally went up for sale. It was bought sight unseen by krazillionaire
Krishnan Suthanthiran for, get this, $5.7 million (CAD)! If I were a krazillionaire, I'd drop 5.7 million clams on this too! Why not? Did you see the funky furniture it comes with!?!? Master Suthanthiran then went one step further. He bought himself a production studio, ATV Productions (here in Vancouver) in which to make a documentary / promotional spot for his recent purchase. His plan is to create a phoenix out of this dead town. He envisions Kitsault as Canada's prized eco-tourism destination spot. There'll be top-notch skiing, fly-fishing, hiking, mountain biking, you name it. In the meantime, ATV Productions is renting this ghost town out to feature production companies who want an empty town to shoot their film in!

TAPES 'N TAPES

Here's one of my favourite bands performing one of the best songs ever written.