Thursday, December 28, 2006

THE COOLEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

Working in the visual arts, I have seen a lot of really cool things. This is by far the coolest image I have ever seen in my life. We all might as well give up and call it quits. Why bother trying to compete? There is nothing we can do to top this.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Friday, December 22, 2006

TERRIBLE MISTAKE

John Dryden, Jared MacKenzie and I were at a downhill mountain bike festival recently and decided to have a little fun and surprise everyone with a dramatic entrance. Unfortunately, it didn't get the laughs we were looking for at all.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

JET POWERED BIRDMAN SUIT

This is just under a year old but it's new to me!

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

EGGNOG

Last X-mas, I saw this happen in the convenient store attached to Andrew Duncan's old apartment building. It involved two (perhaps homeless) junky-types. The kind of guys who live in seedy hotels.

Artoon by your pal Beadle!

Monday, December 18, 2006

SHOES

"Cars this" and "Cars that!" ENOUGH! The movie Cars wasn't any good! The designs were poor and booooring. Sure the animation was stellar and the tech behind it made it look incredible, but overall this thing raced to the finish line in dead last (insert your moan here). I feel sorry for old John Lassiter. Not only does he have to follow in Brad Bird's incredible footsteps (insert your second moan here), but he had to do so with a heap of a script and devastatingly poor designs. Maybe it's just sour grapes. After all, it's a complete rip off of the script I wrote and submitted to Pixar eight years ago entitled "Shoes."

Shoes is the story of a high-performance running shoe named Dash Krofft ("coincidental" that Pixar has a movie with a character named Dash isn't it?) who is the fastest and best running shoe racer in the running circuit. One day, while traveling to his next meet, the cocky and self-absorbed Dash finds himself lost and needs to spend the night in a small town called Treadsville (or as Dash calls it, "Deadsville").

There Dash is introduced to a whole bunch of other friendly locals; an old army boot, Sgt. Tongue, a flip-flop surfer dude named Jammer, Wavy & Gravy are the comic relief as an aging pair of hippy Birkenstocks. He also meets a really nice high-heeled babe by the name of Bernadette. Dash is pleased to meet these fine folks, but feels he'd better call it a night so that he can hit the road early and get to his track meet on time.

Unfortunately, on his way back to his hotel, he passes by a hooker boot by the name of Pumpy Ho. She asks him if he "wants to get unlaced." Dash politely refuses and continues on his way. Pumpy Ho doesn't take "no" as an answer and starts giving him sass to the point where he gets down right rude to her. She then calls on her pimp, the platform shoe Mr. Groovy, to lay a smackdown on this tripper. Dash, being the runner that he is, is off, outrunning Mr. Groovy easily, but in his haste, he finds himself on the wrong side of the tracks getting shit-kicked by a bunch of wing-tipped gangster shoes. Luckily, he is saved by an old work boot by the name of "Steel Toe" Joe and a worn out hobo/prospector loafer by the name of Ol' Stinky. Joe & Ol' Stinky arn't very smart but they're tough and friendly old coots and the three end up going to a pub for a drink. It is in the pub where Dash finds that something's bothering him; a syringe in sticking into his side. Joe surmises that Dash must have pricked himself with the discarded junky pin while getting shit-kicked in the back alley.

Next morning Dash needs to get to the track meet, but feels that he'd best get to a hospital ASAP to see if he's infected with anything. He has to wait in the town for a week while waiting for the results. The people are all real hospitable and warm and caring. Even Mr. Groovy comes by Dash's place and tells him that Pumpy Ho will treat him like a real men's shoe if he wanted. Dash thanks Mr. Groovy for his fine offer, but feels he should first hear what the results are before hookin' it up with anyone, including Pumpy Ho. Mr. Groovy respects this. Eventually, Dash's results are in and it's negative. The results are positive. He's got a shoe version of AIDS. His running days are over and he ends up living the rest of his short life in the hospital there in Treadsville (or as Dash calls it "Deadsville.")

So you can see why I'm kinda mad at Pixar for stealing my script outright and changing the shoes with cars. Which is stupid--how can the cars even talk or move or anything without a person driving them?! I give Cars 2 thumbs down.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

MOOSE HUNTING WITH THE BOARDS OF CANADA

My mom's uncle, Al, lives in Anahim Lake, BC and is a true outdoors kind of guy. Close to 80 if not more, Al still lives in a small log cabin and is a real story-teller. In the 40's and 50's he was a hunter but in the 60's he traded the gun in for a 16mm Bolex camera which he has given to me. He taught himself everything he needed to know about shooting film and editing and used this camera to document life in Anahim. Not too long ago, my mom's cousin, had Al come to Vancouver and transfer his various films to video. They put an earnest soundtrack to accompany the films and Al did a voice-over narration/commentary to the films as well, and when you hear Al speak, you hear a story-teller. He's a natural.

I digitized his films recently (unfortunately from a VHS copy) and will post selections of these films soon. I have three of them. One is on the Anahim Rodeo, another is on a beaver hunting trip via vintage ski-doos and the third is on a moose hunt. When I say they go hunting, it's not just for the sport of it. These hunting trips are for survival and making a living. When they kill a moose, they take every single part of that moose out of the woods with them.

For this post, I've edited the moose hunt footage down to 5 minutes (from 20) and put it to "Dayvan Cowboy" by The Boards of Canada.

click image for Quicktime (05:00 - 11.2 mb)

Saturday, December 16, 2006

I'M SUPER FESTIVE

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a HUGE CHRISTMAS person. For me it's everything about the CHRISTMAS. I love the Jesus, I love the Santa, I love it all! There's nothing in the world that's better than receiving the presents except for one thing: the DECORATING. I'm all for it and as soon as BORING OLD HALLOWE'EN is over, I am outside preparing the house for the CHRISTMAS! When it gets closer to THE DATE, I usually take an unpaid week off of the work so that I can set it all up.

Every year, I go down to my favourite Canadian Tire with my Canadian Tire "money" (this year I had $86.00) and spend it all (as well as some of my real money) on, yup, you guessed it, the CHRISTMAS decorations. I go bananas over the stuff. This year I spent $400 (including the 86 CT bucks) on new stuff that never existed before! I also got some more LED lights (I have to tell you, the LED lights are saving me a fortune on my electrical bill--this CHRISTMAS, I've calculated that I'll only spend approx. $600 for the electricity as opposed to the $5200 that it used to run me). Last year I broke my pelvis after falling off the ladder after getting fully electrocuted by an electroactive wire and Monkey and Craig had to come over and finish the job for me (I paid them 10 Canadian Tire bucks/hour). This year I was more safety conscious and it went really smoothly with nary a shock nor tumble (WOOT!) so sorry Craig & Andrew, but there's no work or hot cocoa for you this year!


Thursday, December 14, 2006

BOOM BOOM SABOTAGE EXTRAS

Here's a link to GoogleVideo where you can GO BEHIND THE SCENES to the Tony Hawk in Boom Boom Sabotage movie that I co-wrote and directed. These puppies are available only on what is called "the web."

http://video.google.ca/videosearch?q=boom+boom+sabotage

There's 5 little spotlights on various aspects of the movie:

1. Spotlight on Mike McKinlay
2. Tony Hawk's motion-capture shoot
3. Visual Development
4. Art & Design
5. "Street skating" motion-capture shoot

There's also the original teaser trailer and the first animation test footage that was done about 5 or 6 years ago. The test footage was originally created for a major studio who was interested in buying a series but they had concerns about how good the motion-capture would be and asked Mainframe to show them a technical test. Unfortunately, some executive from MF thought that it should be fully rendered instead of giving just the requested tech test and by doing so, the buyer took one look at it, figured that this was how the final product would look and said "NO THANK YOU!"

BIGFOOT OPERA

Here we got yer typical opera. Thanks Mel for the link!

Monday, December 11, 2006

WEINER BOY

Hey, speaking of Craig McEwen, in the early to mid-nineties, he and I had a company called Weiner Boy. We wanted to make cool music videos, live show visuals, audio soundscapes, commercials, etc. We started to collect stock footage and various sound recordings etc. We decided the best way to promote ourselves was to give millions of stickers away to anyone and everyone. Our logo and the rascally weiner mascots were designed by Geoff Coates--in fact Geoff did everything you see here with the exception of the salty old sailor.


Craig and I loved these two hellions! Everyone loved these buggers! Everyone loved WEINER BOY! They'd take the stickers and laugh and feel good. Things were going great for our new little venture and things seemed like they were on the up and up! A few weeks later, after handing out millions of these stickers, we started getting phone calls. But they were not good phone calls. The voices on the other end were angry and venomous!

"YOUR STICKERS DON'T STICK!
WHAT KIND OF FLIM-FLAM DADGUM
OPERATION YOU TRYIN' TO PULL?!?!"


Craig and I needed a quick fix, and QUICK! We decided that we'd need to do a re-release of the stickers but this time on a stickier material. Craig and I went out in full-force with our new batch of stickers:


Sticker collectors the world over are paying top-dollars for the old unstickable stickers and I've heard rumour of some being appraised at about $24 with peel-back backing still intact and about $12 - $15 without. Although the RCA sticker (seen below), was printed with the new stickierable material, they are fetching upwards of approx. $25,000 - $32,000 each (with the peel-backing still intact) because only 50 of these were printed and Craig and I each donated our own blood into the ink which was used to print these. We would have printed more but we were running out of blood and feeling light-headed. We promptly went to the bar and gave them all away.

Keep on truckin'!

Paul Boyd's take on Weiner Boy

Along with the sticker campaign, Craig and I produced these amazing fliers.


I love the Your reputation is 'INSURED' intentional typo. Craig and I then went on to create a fictitious history of Weiner Boy promotion (click on the images to enlarge):


Months after releasing these out to various places, Craig and I saw a Tab Cola commercial where an eccentric German exiles himself via a weiner-shaped zepplin. He disappears without a trace until many years later he is seen roaming the wilderness in the Pacific Northwest (where they use the infamous Patterson footage). It was trippy, hilarious, weird and very familiar.--HEY I FOUND THE COMMERCIAL:



Here is our first demo reel. It consisted of the stock footage we were collecting, some sound bites, footage from our first music video and some stuff from college film school. It was made using the Dvision TOASTER just before non-linear editing systems started to take over the galaxy.

click the hard-workin' gaffers for demo reel (05:31 - 12.5 mb)

Sunday, December 10, 2006

CRAIG MCEWEN.COM

Craig McEwen's got a website and Halfsquatch advises all to give it a quick look. The art direction for the site is stellar and navigation is effortless. You can see the MK12 influence! Giv'er a looksee!

http://www.craigmcewen.com

Nice work Craig!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

FINISHED!!!


I just finished the internet! What an amazing, just incredible read--from start to finish. If you get a chance, you should really pick this up and give it a read, however I must warn you, there are just a few things you should know before you get started on this EPIC! (MINOR SPOILER ALERT!!!)

1. It's a long read. I started reading in 1996ish and just finished up last night.

2. Ads. Though considered "a masterpiece," the internet, unlike the other famous classics, has many advertisements and "pop-ups" throughout. These pop-ups were very annoying at first, but by the end of the 178,639th chapter, I was actually finding them rather amusing and now, I wouldn't want the internet any other way!

3. The plot twist near the end came out of left field, blew my socks into orbit and threw my head into a tizzy. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING! It'll shock you and maybe even amuse you. You're either going to love it or hate it.

4. Don't try and download the internet and then print it out on paper to read. This will not be efficient at all. You will just have to get used to reading the internet via monitor (or in my case monitors!).

5. Finally, the internet's not for everyone, as its narrative is disjointed and all over the place -- kind of like a Burroughs' novel or his stupid cut-ups. Though I enjoyed it (for the most part), I couldn't for the life of me, figure out who the hero was?!

I give the internet 7.5 out of 10 with a condition that the sequel must have a bigger role for a hero character or something.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

TOY STORY REQUIEM

Here's a pretty good mash-up of two classic movies.

WEINERBOY CLASSIC

Decades ago, Craig McEwen and I had a company called Weinerboy (more on this soon). We did music videos, multi-media work, print and graphic work, editing, projections for live concerts etc. The one thing we were really into was stock footage and we amassed a whole basement full of various tapes and films. One day, Cossette Communications called us. They needed a quick, short video that would help them pitch something to some big client. They gave us 800 clams and wanted it done in 2 days. This was back before home computers were the super-powers that they are now and gear was crap (we basically had to give the 800 bucks to some on-line guy to deliver the final product) but we somehow did it. Due to the restrictions and tight deadline I don't think it was very good and we thought, "Well, they'll never call Weinerboy again!"

A few months later, we were proven wrong. They called us again saying "We need to pitch to some big client in 2 days and we want a video to accompany the pitch!" We took the job. Cossette wanted to draw a client to British Columbia and wanted the video to show how diverse and great the province and Vancouver was. Craig and I went to work and produced a little video. Again, really tight deadline, little money, very heavy crappy gear, a twisted ankle and no sleep. We delivered it to them and said "Well, they'll never call Weinerboy again!" and this time WE WERE RIGHT!

The final complete edit is missing but I did manage to find a work-in-progress VHS copy. I've just included the opening to it as the rest is full of holes, time-code breaks, glitches etc. One part of this made me spew eggnog out of my nose and all over my VCR and I think you'll know what part I'm talking about. Now go grab some eggnog and a towel and enjoy!

click the atomic time-code for quicktime (01:00 - 2.3 mb)

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

WORLD OF BORECRAFT

Last year friends and critics, were ranting and raving on how awesome World of Warcraft was, so I picked up a copy and immediately got sucked into the world. I chose to play an Undead warlock named Iggy Dread. I made it to the 20th or so level when I finally realized how stupid and boring the game was. If you are unfamiliar with the game, it's a massive multiplaer online role-playing game (MMORPG), where, according to Wikipedia, "...players control a character avatar within a persistent gameworld, exploring the landscape, fighting monsters and performing quests on behalf of computer-controlled characters. The game rewards success through money, items and experience which allow players' characters to improve in skill and power. In addition, players may opt to take part in battles against other players, including both duels and fights against player characters allied with an enemy faction..."

Here's my version:
You run and run and run to various places on a map. When you finally get there, you fight and fight and fight and most likely, your character dies. When this happens, your character, is sent back to where you basically started and as a ghost, you have to run and run and run all the way back to where your "physical" remains lay in a heap. Once resurrected, you fight and fight and die and run and fight until you finish that mission. Once that mission is complete, you run and run and run all the way back to the point where you started and collect some money or an item. Lots of running. Lots and lots of running.

When I got into fights, I usually ended up doing the same spells or tactics; in other words, pushed the same buttons each time, every time. So you run and run and run, and then push the same buttons, and then run and run and run. BORRRRRRRRING! I can't believe I lasted as long as I did. I guess I was in a state of denial. The game sucked so bad that I started to find new ways of entertaining myself--bugging people. I swear I had more fun doing this in the one hour than all the weeks of playing the actual game combined.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

STARCHILD

A while back, I met a man named Chad Deetken. He is a local fella who is an authority on crop circles. I met him through some sasquatch folk. Chad's a really nice guy and knows a number of people in the UFO community. One of these folks is a fella named Lloyd Pye. Since early 1999, Lloyd has been the caretaker of a very unusual skull -- the Starchild skull.

Lloyd Pye holds an "alien" skull

In 2001, the skull was shipped to Vancouver so that Chad could have DNA tests of the skull at UBC. I got Chad's number and called him, asking if he'd mind me shooting some footage of the skull. I went to his house in Kits and filmed about an hours worth of footage. While there, Tim the Yowie Man showed up along with Stephen Harvey, the main subject for Craig McEwen, Andrew Duncan's and my soon to be released sasquatch documentary. You'll see Stephen Harvey at the end during the credits. Listen to his thoughts and his wisdomous insight as he encounters the Starchild for his first time. I don't really have any clue whether this is an alien hybrid or not, but I can assure you that the skull is real, and it hasn't been fabricated out of other skulls.

click the x-ray for Quicktime (06:24 - 14 mb)

Friday, December 01, 2006

EDITH PRICKLEY

I hope I don't get any sass for posting this!!! My buddy Greg "Raspyboy" Richardson, got this extremely illegal snap of him & Andrea Martin. He was working with her on the extremely tight-lipped animated feature he's directing.

"Who cares if I only have a half-formed semi-gay smile....it's Andrea Martin! We recorded her on Monday for the new Barbie movie. It was funny stuff; I was asking her about the Mrs. Falbo's Tiny Town sketch she did with John Candy and she did the "Hello fish" thing she used to do at the start of that show - if you remember she did it in a comically deep and loud voice as she basically yelled at her fish in its little fishbowl. Good times."

Mrs. Falbow with Galoshes

In this exclusive Halfsquatch interview, I asked Greg about the other SCTV alumni he's had the pleasure of working with.

Greg: "I've now worked with Andrea, Catherine O'Hara and Martin Short. Though I never met the man, I risked my life once to steal a John Hemphill (aka Happy Marsden) continuity polaroid from the set of "Maniac Mansion" and gave it to you as a gift.

Halfsquatch: "Oh yeah. That was awesome. He was dressed up as "Lenny" from the episode "Raging Lenny." He was all beat up with black eyes. I loved that photo but I lost it.

Greg: You're an idiot.

I haven't met many people who really thought Maniac Mansion was any good. I thought it was pretty funny (though it was made for families so it was a bit "safe" and sometimes you'd have to watch some filler crap to get to the gold). Joe Flaherty and Eugene Levy not only acted in the series but they had a hand in its creation, the directing and writing (In the episode "The Attack Of Killer Keifer," the family is watching a terrible low-budget, sci-fi B-movie on television. The space hero uses a large hand-held magnet to pull an alien's raygun away (using fishing line) and says "Magnetism Zoltar! It don't get no better than this!") I have a copy of one of the episodes so I'll digimatize some scenes and post them. You'll smile, you'll see.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

SPACE COPS!!!!!!!

The year is 2186. Cops and bad guys use lasers in a world gone laser-crazy. A bad guy has a laser-sword(trademark) and there's only one space-cop who can save him: SPACE COP!

I went to film school at a crappy college in Ontario. One fellow student, John Benedikty, fancied himself "the next George Lucas" (why he'd want to emulate GL I have no idea), and started filming things on his own using super-8 film including this classic, SPACE COPS. Watch this film. It has everything anyone would want in a film. While watching, please take special note in the amazing special fx! Mr. Benedikty hand scratched, frame by frame, every effect you see here; the laser gun blasts and the laser-swords(trademark) by scatching the emulsion and painting each frame of film by hand, just like George Lucas did for Star Wars. Go get yourself some popcorn, sit back and let Eagal Productions take you to another galaxy which is very, very far away...

SPACE COPS!!!
1 kabillion apologies for the quality of the footage. It is a super-8 transfer
to 1/2" video which has then been transferred to video a number of
times and now digitized and compressed.

Mr. Benedikty says, in the credits, that the soundtrack is unavailable. DON'T BELIEVE THE HYPE! I'm sure someone has a SPACE COPS soundtrack bit torrent somewhere.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

MONKEY DISCOVERS PORTAL?

I received a disturbing email from Andrew Duncan, the Dirty Little Kid (aka Monkey) recently. Here's what he wrote:

5 words all baby's [sic] say:
Neh = hungry
Owh = sleepy

Heh = discomfort

Eair = lower gas

Eh = burp


Oops, that's another email from him. This is the disturbing email I meant to transcribe:

"Checking out google earth and what do I see two blocks from my house? I don't fucking know...what this is..?"

He then attached the following Google Earth pictures:


I promptly asked Andrew for some follow-up investigating. "GET DOWN TO THAT SITE IMMEDIATELY BEFORE WE ESPLODE! I wanna know everything! What it is. What it wants! I wanna know if it has a favourite colour! Is it friendly? Does it have any connections to terrorist groups?!? Is it a time warp? FIND OUT NOW DAMMIT!"

Andrew, being the amazing Halfsquatch reporter he is, took the coordinates and made his way to the anomalous site and came back with the following shocking photographs:

Our ace reporter writes: "Here is more evidence, I forgot to get the street address...I think it might have something to do with the Satellite TV dish, it's on the right corner...?"

I'm not sure if it is on the right corner or not. It may be on the wrong corner but Halfsquatch will be monitoring this location day and night from now on and will bring you exclusive up-to-the-minute reportaging on this strange phenomenon. WE ARE ON IT FOR YOU!

Saturday, November 25, 2006

CAN WE TALK OLIVES FOR A MINUTE?


I'm not a HUGE olive fan like David Cassidy is well known for, but I do enjoy an olive or two, here and there. One day, the maid brought us some groceries and there were these packages of olives. I opened one of the packages and WHAM! The best god damn olives I've ever eaten. A friend of mine, Heisenberg, was over and he popped one into his mouth and said "Hey, these are really good olives." If you're as huge an olive fan as David Cassidy, then you are going to go banuclear over Crespo's Pitted Green Olives. GO GET 'EM!

David Cassidy sits on his corvette, day-dreaming of olives

STRAPPING YOUNG LAD

Last century, Craig McEwen and I were commissioned to create a music video for STRAPPING YOUNG LAD's single "Detox." We shot this in a crappy warehouse in New Westminster. The drummer for SYL is Gene Hoglan and while setting up for the video and I was putting Gene's drum kit together when John Dryden, our DOP, came up to me and said "You should put some Brasso on those [cymbals]. It'll shine 'em up real good. I saw some [cymbals] shined up real nice on another music video and they used Brasso. Go get some Brasso or you're an idiot." I took his advice because he said he had used Brasso on the cymbals for Sex With Nixon's "Sally's Ride" music video and they did shine nicely, so I went and got some Brasso. Just after applying a coat of Brasso to each cymbal, Gene comes into the "studio" and inspects his drum kit. He sees me buffing the cymbals and asks, "What are you using? What's this white shit?" I tell him "Brasso." He says to me "Tell me you're joking." Keep in mind that the man is a very HUGE intimidating man with a skull-capped cane and a drummer for the death metal bands "Death", "Dark Angel" and even drummed for "Slayer." I say "No, I'm not joking...err..." He shook his head and said that I had just ruined his cymbals. That felt really good. Afterwards, John Dryden came up to me and said "Uhhh, yeah, maybe it was something else we used."


Monday, November 20, 2006

SPY TV ZOMBIE ATTACK

I remember seeing this when it aired and thought that it was one of the best video pranks ever pulled. It still holds up pretty good!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

GRADE 12 GANGLORDS GROWS!

1. Get out your grade 12 year book!
2. Scan your picture!
3. Send me your jpg (johnnydarrell@shaw.ca) along with the name of your school, its whereabouts and the year.
4. Bookmark this page and keep checking in on it to see how the gr.12 gang grows!!!

Look who's already joined the club and is ready to kick some serious grade 9 butt!!!


What a formidable roster! I can't wait to see who else has THE GUTS! to join The Grade 12's.
I look forward to seeing John Dryden's logo design for this BRUTAL gang of ours.




"MAGIC" GRILLED CHEESE

Can we talk grilled cheese sangwiches for a moment? If you're anything like me, then you love grilled cheese sangwiches. I'm really into eating them. I'm into making them, and I'm into eating them. Kamala is always saying to me, "Hey guy, can you slap a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches on the pan for Kai and I?" and then Kai runs around in circles in anticipation for one of my sangwiches yelling "Can you make mine a magic inside-out?" That's right. MAGIC. INSIDE- OUT. Now a magician never gives away his trick but I'm not a magician. This is a magician:


So now that we know that I'm not a magician of any sort, I will reveal my MAGIC INSIDE OUT GRILLED CHEESE SANGWICH directions.

1. Take two slabs of bread. Butter one side of each slice.
2. Make some thin slices of cheddar (DO NOT USE PROCESS CHEESE FOOD) and put them aside.
3. Grill the buttered side of both slabs of bread at the same time until they are golden brown.
4. Take the grilled bread out of the pan and put them onto a plate, grilled side facing up.
5. Immediately put the cheese onto the hot grilled bread and put the other piece of bread, grilled side down onto the cheese.
6. Let sit for a moment so that the cheese melts.
7. Eat your Magic Inside-Out grilled cheese sangwich.

You might say "uhhhh..." and what I say to that is this:

1. Your fingers don't get greasy.
2. The bread's outer layer is soft and steamed with a crispy centre.

Kai said to me "It's like biting into a cloud and then eating an angel!" Now I tell you, it doesn't get any more magical than that...unless that angel was riding a winged unicorn.

Your typical, traditional, run-of-the-mill
grilled cheese sangwich served barbarian-style.


Halfsquatch's dignified, refined and
classier version of the same sangwich.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

UNCLE MARK'S 2007 GIFT GUIDE & ALMANAC

Each year "Uncle Mark" releases a guide which reviews all the major consumer technology products and gives his ONE favorite pick in each category... not the "17 top digital cameras", but the ONE camera that you should buy. I may not agree with everything mentioned in here and you might not either, but if you're looking for an x-mas gift and don't really know what which of what to get, maybe Uncle Mark can make your shopping easier. It's a free PDF download so check it out!

click image!

Monday, November 13, 2006

NEW SASQUATCH BOOK

FINALLY! A complete study on the subject by an actual scientist with substantial credentials!!!! There are lots of good sasquatch books out there, but most are written by enthusiasts with little scientific background. Written by Dr. Jeff Meldrum (Associate Professor of Anatomy and Anthropology at Idaho State University), this book "takes an objective look at the facts in a field mined with hoaxes and sensationalism. Meldrum reports on the work of a team of experts from a wide variety of fields who were assembled to examine the evidence for a large, yet undiscovered, North American primate. He reviews the long history of this mystery--which long predates the "bigfoot" flap of the late fifties--and explains all the scientific pros and cons in a clear and accessible style, amplified by over 150 illustrations. Anyone who has pondered the mysteries of human evolution will be fascinated and eager to join Dr. Meldrum in drawing their own conclusion."



"Jeff Meldrum's book 'Sasquatch: Legend Meets Science' brings a much needed level of scientific analysis to the Sasquatch - or Bigfoot - debate. Does Sasquatch exist? There are countless people - especially indigenous people - in different parts of America who claim to have seen such a creature. And in many parts of the world I meet those who, in a matter-of-fact way, tell me of their encounters with large, bipedal, tail-less hominids. I think I have read every article and every book about these creatures, and while most scientists are not satisfied with existing evidence, I have an open mind." -- Dr. Jane Goodall

Thursday, November 02, 2006

ANIMISM & THE ART OF LEO LABELLE

In 2001 I produced, directed, shot and edited a 20-minute documentary about an surrealist artist from Agassi, BC. This documentary takes a look at a man who raced hot rods in the 60's, paints and sculpts surrealistic, "trippy" art, has psychic visions, has been abducted by aliens, will NOT disrespect slugs, and tries to figure out why the universe planned to have his one pet ferret go missing one-year-to-the-day-later after his most beloved pet ferret drowned.

Here is the opening sequence to the documentary...
click on poster for Quicktime (04:00 - 9 mb)

Special thanks to Greg Richardson for some excellent additional camera work and Andrew Duncan for overall assistance and gumption on the main shoot.

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

MANMELTER 3600ZX

When WETA makes these available next year I'm getting one. I don't know how much it'll cost me but I'm getting one. Then I'll go laser-blast a hole into George Bush's (aka Ming the Merciless') cock and balls. Or melt him--whatever it does to people. Look at the metal case it comes in?!?!? Are you kidding me? I bet the sound of George Bush's cock and balls being ezapervicerated into smithereens (or melting) is pretty cool. I bet it sounds like this: click


Here's just one testimonial for the ManMelter 3600ZX:

20 July 06 - "When I received my ManMelter for use on my trip to the rain forests of Vasplurgia, I blew my left leg off at the hip. Marvelous invention!"
-Major. Alfred Beardlington


Check out their site and see the other rayguns they're producing just for me and you:
http://www.wetanz.com/updates/rayguns/index.html