APTERA ELECTRIC CAR

No joke, but I am seriously considering buying one of these electric cars. It's by a company called Aptera and the vehicles should be on the streets this time next year. I'm not sure about Canada though, so I'm holding my fully-refundable reservation deposit ($500) until I hear back from them. Check it out!!! Their website is a bit too Flash heavy and you have to deal with a bunch of splash pages as it loads etc. but eventually you'll get to the meat & potatoes.

(From their website:) The Aptera has a 2 plus 1 seating configuration. The two front seats are arranged as standard side by side seating. There is also a center infant seat behind the driver and passenger. The side doors open to the front and upward completely inside the front wheel track so you never have to worry about hitting the vehicle parked next to you or damaging your door while exiting your Aptera in a tight garage. There is enough storage in the rear for 15 bags of groceries, or 2 full size golf club bags. And the Aptera is even big enough for a couple of seven foot surf boards and any associated beach accessories.



HERE IS WHAT'S AVAILABLE IN EVERY APTERA:

- Driver and passenger side Airbags

- Energy absorbing and impact deflecting passenger Safety Cell (whatever the hell that is?!?)

- Advanced drive computer with GPS navigation, CD/MP3/DVD player, XM satellite radio, Large View Rear Camera, and complete vehicle diagnostic system

- "Eyes Forward" vision system with 180 degree rear sight picture displayed in the driver's field of view to enhance situational awareness

- LED interior and exterior lighting for maximum energy efficiency

- Solar assisted Climate Control System so you always enter a comfortable Aptera that is never too hot or cold

- And an RFID(Radio Frequency ID) key fob so you never have to pull out your keys to enter or start your Aptera. The key fob simply remains in your pocket or purse. Even Cpt. James T. Kirk didn't have this kind of technology.


Here is where you have an option (drive topology):

Do you want to drive long distances or do you just want to use your Aptera for your daily commute, chores, and as a general around town vehicle?

- All Electric – This Aptera is powered exclusively with batteries and will get you around town to the tune of approximately 120 miles depending on your driving conditions. At night you simply plug the Aptera into any standard 110 volt outlet and in just a few hours you will have a fully charged vehicle that will take you another 120 miles. The approximate cost of this option with all the features listed above will be $26,900.

- Plug-in Series Hybrid – This Aptera is also powered by an electric drive train but it is assisted by a fuel efficient gasoline powered generator which stretches your range significantly. In typical driving you may achieve over 300 miles per gallon and you will have range far beyond any passenger vehicle available today. The approximate cost of this option with all the features listed above will be $29,900.

HALFSQUATCH HOW TO DO SOMETHING #1: HOW TO MAKE A MOOSE CALL

In the wilds of Canada there are giant cow-deer creatures called moose. Though once savage, vicious meat-eating creatures, thanks to global warming and yoga, they have become extremely docile and vegetarian. The best thing about a moose is their flavour. But due to their sudden shyness, the moose have become very hard to find. So on one hand we got ourselves a soothing relief knowing that they're no longer prowling our sidewalks looking for our flesh to feast upon.

Two Clinton-era moose stalking early-bird
shoppers at a Wal-Mart in Boise, ID.

On the other, they're now reluctant to enter into city limits thereby making their flesh a rare treat. So how do we lure them back? With mating calls and here's how to make one of your own.

STEP 1: Buy a tube of Pringles. You can get these chip-like treats at any super-market or convenient store. For this project, I went to a 7-11 and grabbed a tube of "sour cream and onion." The flavour you choose is entirely up to you as the chip-like snacks themselves are not needed for the making of the moose caller.

STEP 2: Remove the chip-like wafers. How you choose to do so is, again, up to you. Pouring some out in a bowl to snack on while making your moose call might be a good idea. This is what I did. You may want to call a friend or family member to help you munch on these "thin-credible" chip-like edibles. Just remember, the more people you share them with, the less of them for you to enjoy.

STEP 3: Puncture a hole into the bottom of the tube. You will want to use a hammer and something pointy. My hammer was being used elsewhere so I improvised and used my camera.


STEP 4: Insert a nice thick shoe-lace through the hole. Pull the shoe-lace out the top of the tube and tie a nice big giant knot. Pull the lace so that the knot goes back into the tube until the knot slams itself against the bottom of the tube. What's happening here is that the knot is waaay too big to be pulled through the hole you've made. There's no way the lace is getting out the way it went in.

STEP 5: Now that you have a secured lace-line (as I like to call it) in place, dip the lace itself into some water, soaking it. Ring out excess water so that it is moist but not dripping wet.

STEP 6: Go outside.

STEP 7: Holding the tube in one hand (I'm right-handed so I hold the tube in my left hand), pinch the lace between your index finger and thumb. Slide your hand/fingers back away from the tube so that there is some resistance. The vibrations caused by the friction will travel through the tube creating a sound that is so chilling you won't be able to breath and your back might ache.

You can do short little bursts or big long bursts depending on your mating call needs. I like both. Your neighbours won't like either.

STEP 8: Continue repeating steps 5, 6 & 7 for as long as you like.

BOTTLE ROCKET [1994]

Here is the original b&w short film that eventually became one of my favourite movies of all time. Bottle Rocket is a movie that gets better and funnier with each viewing. Despite how technically challenged this uploaded video is, it's good to finally "see" it. Oh and look at the gun-dealer's t-shirt!!!

BOTTLE ROCKET TRAILER

Unfortunately this is a terrible trailer.

BOTTLE ROCKET BEHIND THE SCENES LOOK

WES ANDERSON AMERICAN EXPRESS AD

THE ART OF RYAN HESHKA

In yesterday's post, I mentioned Vancouver illustrator/artist Ryan Heshka as a possible blog post entry and then today, while grabbing some food to stuff into my guts I happened across this bus ad and snapped a picture of it with my crappy cellular talking machine:


It looks like Ryan Heshka himself was commissioned to design some artwork for this years "Word on the Street" book & magazine festival. What a cowinkydink!

I have 3 original Heshka paintings on my wall. When I saw them I had to have them so I sold 3/4 of my blood to some plasma clinic across the road from Breakers in Point Roberts. My photos don't do the colours justice.

Here's Ryan's website where you can see more of his incredible work.

GORILLAZ TWO TONE FIGURES

Went to Voltage yesterday and finally picked up the vinyl two-tone Gorillaz figures. SWEET! There's only 1000 of them world-wide so now all I have to do is wait a couple of years and then I can retire. For those of you who haven't done so yet, you should check out the fine folks at Voltage on Main Street. The store rocks and the owners are super nice. Great shirts & accessories, great figurines, great art books/magazines and some nice framed prints by Biskup and Ryan Heshka (oooh! Ryan'll make great new blog entry for sure! Stay tuned).


Voltage is also where Colin Beadle had his art show about a year ago.

It's worth the drive to Acton! Wait...that's the slogan for The Leather Ranch in Acton, Ontario.

Deer Man of Dark Woods

Heroin Skateboards video of some Barrier Kult members. Mostly featured is Deer Man of Dark Woods. I'd like to set up a trap and capture him.

HONK BARN, Y'ALL, HONK BARN.

A friend of mine, Todd Ramsay, is busy working on a series of animated shorts called Honk Barn. He has almost completed the third one and I can't wait to see the 4th (as my son, Kai and I provided some of the voices). Todd and his wife Ashley were over at my place one night and I showed him a little project that Colin Beadle and I were working on (more on this mystery later!) and it inspired him to do some comics of his own (there's a clue to the mystery!). Check out the doo-thwacked musings of Todd Ramsay's Honk Barn here. You can also see his MySpace page here!

HONK BARN

HONK BARN 2

ERECTOR SPYKEE SPY ROBOT

The company with a laughable name has just introduced a pretty cool robot called the Spykee.
This robot comes equipped with a camera, is a wireless VOIP phone, has speaker system, and is WIFI, which allows you to control the robot away from home through something called the internet (not included with the robot). Click on the robot below for more info!

50% MORE SQUATCH!

Just a quick update! The CRTC has approved my request to increase Halfsquatch by 50%!! This is great news and something that I've been waiting for!!

Some frequently asked questions:

Q: What does this mean?
A: Well when it comes down to brass tacks and comparing apples to oranges, nothing. You won't see a noticeable difference. I can assure you, Halfsquatch will continue to operate as it always has. Your computer WON'T be affected.

Q: Is Halfsquatch?
A: This is not a complete nor proper question. I will not answer it.

Q: How are you going to provide 50% more Squatch? Researching scientists concur that this is impossible.
A: Scientists bug me. They're only looking at facts. Just keep coming back and enjoying Halfsquatch as you would normally. You should not be directly affected by anything we post here on Halfsquatch nor see any difference or improvements in your lifestyle.

Q: Do you provide tours of your facility?
A: Due to increased Squatch production (50%), we are no longer able to provide any tours until further notice. We have always enjoyed providing tours and will let you know when Halfsquatch will be resuming tours.

So there you have it! Keep checking in over the next few weeks and forever onward. Don't forget to tell your Facebook friends about this amazing Halfsquatch update, bookmark Halfsquatch in your toolbar (for easy access), and look for incredible savings and discounts on future Halfsquatch products!!!

Thanks,
Johnny
CEO / Chief Editor / Writer United Halfsquatch Industries Unlimited

PROFESSOR STEPHEN HAWKING LEGO

I now have a small project to do over the weekend. Raid Kai's Lego and build me one of these!!!

NEW LEATHERMAN SKELETOOL

Look at Leatherman's new up & coming Skeletool. Very lightweight as they've replaced all useless surface areas with holes. I've been thinking about this for years. Want to make something lighter? Put a hole in it. Check out the specs here!!

I'M A NERD

I was made Nerd Corps' "Nerd of the Month!" What an honour. My mother would be proud.

MOON LANDING

John "Jesus H. Christ-in-a-chicken-basket" Dryden sent this link to me; one of my favourite printed articles from the Onion now videoactuated using filmish techniques. Thanks John. It's nice to have tears of joy for once.

Overdrift Stage 2 Teaser

AWESOME!!!!