BURN/N.E.N.E.R.

From the creators of Overdrift, the Duncan Brothers bring you the science-fictionest science-fiction (sci-fi) movie ever made! Head over to their Youtube site and watch the rest of their films, like Waffle Lawyer. It's about a lawyer who's a waffle.

TENORI-ON SEQUENCER

Look what I made out of the left over pieces from my electronical Jet-Pack-powered wheel-chair!

OVERDRIFT

Drifting. Dimensional Portals. Dinosaurs. This is Overdrift!

MONKEY'S MYSTERIOUS PORTAL REDUX!

Eons back, in November of 2006, Halfsquatch agent Andrew Duncan fine-tuned me onto this shocking discovery that he had made while using Google Maps and I blogged about it here in an entry called "Monkey Discovers Portal?"

Last night, using software much more sophisticated than that which Andrew had used, I unearthed this startling image:

You don't have to be a Fox Mulder to grasp what I'm getting at. There are similarities that you cannot argue with. I decided to go deeper into my investigating and using more advanced systems and technologies I was able to widen out and generate these images (click images to enlarge):

Here we see a wider view of the anomaly in question.

And wider yet.

Please, if you will; behold the shocking image below (click image to enlarge):

Area 51.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS?

ROM: THE SPACE KNIGHT: A HALFSQUATCH EXCLUSIVE WITH ITS CREATOR LAWRENCE "BING" MCCOY

When I was a kid action figures were HUGE. I don't mean 12 inches huge, rather they were the thing to have. I remember looking through the hole in Steve Austin's head and making wishes. Wishes like "I wish I had the Bionic Bigfoot action figure!" It worked too, though because Steve Austin's head isn't an official "wishing well" it took about 30 years to get one (thanks to Craig McEwen!).

I remember endlessly depressing the back of Pulsar, the Ultimate Man of Adventure so that his exposed lungs and heart would pump blood through his veins and intestines. Like Steve Austin, Pulsar's albino-white head of hair came with a "peep-hole" where you could trip to psychedelic patterns from little disks that were inserted into his head when you lifted up his face. The packaging he came with were just as groovy as his boots. If I look through the peephole of another Steve Austin action figure I'd say "I wish I had a Pulsar mint-in-box!."


Occasionally I would go over to my friend David Marshall's place and set up all of his Justice League action figures in a 10-pin formation and then have Evel Knievel in his stunt car drive into them. Not one of them used their powers to stop the unbreakable stunt man.

If I could, I'd make my third and final wish: "I wish I never nuked my ROM: The Space Knight action figure in Davey Marshall's microwave (he was the first person I knew to have one of these new-fangled cooking devices). After ROM was pumped full of radiation, we feared for our lives so we took him outside and pumped him full of BB's. It took about 100 rounds to bring the mutated Space Knight down. I'm very ashamed of this and I apologize to the maker and creator of ROM, Lawrence "Bing" McCoy for destroying his creation. I caught up with Bing on the World Wide Web and over a cyber-coffee (a Java, if you will) to apologize and find out more behind ROM: THE SPACE KNIGHT!

Halfsquatch:
First, off I'm sorry for destroying my ROM action figure. I really regretted doing it moments after he started to spark and fizzle. Once that I saw that he was no longer the ROM I once knew and loved, but a mutated freak of nature, we pumped him full of lead. There was nothing anyone could do. I must admit, it took about 100 rounds to take him down.

Lawrence "Bing" McCoy:
It doesn't bother me. I destroyed a lot of action figures in my youth with firecrackers, gasoline, you name it.

HS:
Can you give a little information about your background and how you got into the toy biz?

LBM:
I was raised in Saudi Arabia on an oil base for Aramco (Arabian-American Oil Company). At 13 we moved to Charlottesville Va. I spent most of my high school years touring on weekends with 'soul bands' playing keyboards. When a high school buddy's band became famous, I blew off college and moved to Washington D.C. to join the band. I did a lot of session work in D.C. and N.Y. as well as touring with people like Emmylou Harris, Linda Ronstadt etc.

While doing session work in N.Y. I met Nathan Weiss who was a very powerful talent manager in the music business. Clients included James Taylor, Miles Davis, Cat Stevens, John McClaughlin etc. Nat got me one of the first music synthesizers and I did a lot of effects for ads etc. One day I had the idea to put sound in a game as a Christmas present for my brother and Electronic Battleship was born. One of the backers of a studio where I did session work was a toy agent and he sold the toy to Milton Bradley. Then I formed a company with Scott Dankman and Richard Levy. Scott Dankman was a prince of a guy and Richard was a complete scum ball. He went around telling everyone that he had invented my toys. He had articles published in the Washington Post, went on the Smithsonian show 'Inventions' claiming he had invented my toys etc. He remains one of most despised people in the toy business by inventors because he continues to take credit for things he never invented, like Furby etc.

HS:
I noticed on your website that ROM was originally an Egyptian thingy and then you tore it apart and remade it as a robot. What did the Egyptian toy do? Obviously it didn't have a phaser-pistol. What were the creative steps that took you from thousands of years BC to thousands of years AD? was there a Middle ages Knight action figure that bridged the creative leap?

LBM:
ROM started out as an Egyptian mystic because at the time I was practicing meditation and I thought it might be cool to have a 'mystic' action figure. But I was the only one who liked the idea, so I changed it into a cyborg.

HS:
Yeah, a meditating action figure is kind of an oxymoron. So you changed it from Mystic to Cyborg, did you go directly to Parker Brothers with the cyborg prototype or did you shop it around a bit? What was everyone's reaction to your toy?

LBM:
Richard [the scum ball] went to Parker Brothers with the toy (and of course claimed that he invented it.)

HS:
In the making of the official toy-line, did you have a say in how you thought the actual design of ROM should be or was that all Parker Brothers? How did you feel about the final product? Any surprises? Did Parker Brothers pull any fast ones on you?

LBM:
Generally I was happy with the final product - except the box design was pretty cheesy. And articulated limbs would have been nice. Parker Brothers has always treated me well (and still do). There are a few companies I won't do business with - and perhaps best to not name names.

HS:
Did you have any kind of fictional back-story for ROM when you pitched the toy? What was your pitch?

LBM:
My pitch was that ROM was a cyborg.

HS:
There seems to be quite a similarity in ROM and Robocop, not only physically but also in the comic's storyline. Do you think Robocop was a rip-off of ROM?

LBM:
Yes, Robocop was a rip-off or ROM. I met Paul Verhoevn a few years ago and told him I didn't appreciate that. I talked to Stan Lee about it, but we agreed it was too much trouble to sue, because those types of intellectual property lawsuits rarely do any good.


HS:
Has anyone approached you about any re-issuing of ROM either in toy or comic? Is the toy itself completely out of your hands? Do you have any connection to the toy-line/license/property or is it entirely Parker Brothers and Marvel?

LBM:
I am in the process of re-acquiring the rights. Parker Brothers signed an agreement with Paramount not to use the name anymore, because Paramount threatened to sue claiming infringement on Star Trek's Romulan. I am getting that contract nulled by Paramount. Once that is done I can move forward.

HS:
That ROM costume is amazing. Look how crappy the Hulk looks compared to ROM. The Hulk looks like he's just eaten a large shipment of psycho-drugs. I wonder where the ROM costume is? It must have made you chuckle when you saw it. I worked at Mainframe Entertainment where Transformers: Beast Wars was made and I found a Megatron costume and put it on and walked around. It smelled bad, I could hardly see was extremely hot. Do you have any idea how hot it is in one of these costumes?

LBM:
Richard ["scum ball"] Levy has the costume.

HS:
He sounds like a complete scum ball. I'd even go as far to say scum bag. Got any other bright ideas for zany toys?

LBM:
This year I am releasing glasses which turn 2D into 3D. Imagine watching Star Wars in 3D. A few others on the way as well.

HS:
Cool!! I'll look for those! Speaking of 3D, you're working on a couple of CGI features it looks like! How're they going? Who's doing the production work? What are they all about?

LBM:
The Prophet. That is animated feature that I am working with Phil Roman (the guy who's company did The Simpson's animation). We are still in pre-production. The other feature Hellas is a live action film with the exteriors done in C.G. That one is also in pre-production.

HS:
Thanks Lawrence for your time and I appreciate you chattin with me.

NEW PROJECT

Ever have a dream? Have you ever had an idea that's been with you for most of your life nagging at you but you really never thought it would ever come to fruition? I have and I too thought "It's just a pipe-dream, Johnny-boy, it'll never happen." Until NOW! YEAH! The other night I was leaving Andrew Duncan's crib last week and when I got to the elevator I made a startling discovery:
When I saw this I stopped dead in my tracks because I knew that my life-long dream (well, 20 year-long dream) was finally standing before me.

Sitting next to the elevator was this old abandoned electronical wheel-chair...

...and a discarded jet-pack.

For those who know, a jet-pack can be extremely heavy (until it's turned on). This one was no exception. I nearly hurt myself lifting it up but managed to get it into the elevator. I brought the two pieces home and they are sitting now in my workshop and I should have the project complete by the end of August. No 2-zone Skytrain transit pass for me ANYMORE!

GHOST-BUSTING UNDERCOVER NINJA

It was going to be just another wedding party rehersal dinner when unwanted guests of a spectral-kind crashed the party. Lucky for the wedding party, Best Man Manfred "Tank" Dickson, an off-duty undercover ninja, was on hand to take care of this ghastly situation. Witnesses say that he was able to drop-kick and throat-punch all the orbs "to Jesus."

DONKUMENTARY UPDATE

The movie "King Of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters that I posted about in June is now getting its reviews! Click the picture for the reviews!

COPS OUTED AS PROVOCATEURS AT STOP THE SPP PROTEST

Peaceful protesters stop police provocateurs from starting a riot at the Stop the SPP protests in Montebello Quebec. CEP President Dave Coles confronts men with rocks and sticks. Watch what happens when they're 'outed' and how easily they slip behind the police line. Watch they get "taken down." I'm surprised they weren't given some pillows and blankies to make the take-down softer. Funny how they cops and these "inciters" all have the same boots!

TONY HAWK MOTION CAPTURE SHOOT

I was cleaning out a cupboard tonight and I found a disk full of photos from my trip down to Carlsbad, CA to do a voice record and motion-capture shoot with Tony Hawk. Casey Kwan took most of these photos (I snapped off the ones of the skateboard-wheel-wall).

Here Tony and I try to read my hand-writing. The entire script was hand-written on foolscap and sticky notes using an HB2. We carefully planned this shot so that my face had a giant chrome-plated "x" across it. That's Tony's 3rd pint of vodka. During the record I said something like "Hey 'tone', can you try reading like you're heavily medicated? Heavily, heavily medicated? Thanks, Tone." All the guys looked at me like "Why are you calling him "Tone?!?" Then I'd realize that I was just saying it out of habit 'cuz I have a sister named Toni who I basically call "Tone." I felt like such a tool.

I show Tone the following movies in order to show him what the movie is going to look like:

Movie 1: click here
Movie 2: click here
Movie 3: click here

Tone like Movie 2 the best because he liked the sound of the servo motors whining as the running-belt grinds against my shoulder removing all flesh. It's possible that I was showing him some of Gil Rimmer's (the movie's art-director) designs and artwork.


Mike McKinlay gives Tony's Boom Boom Huck Jam half-pipe a whirl. Mike was our resident skater/consultant on the movie and basically oversaw all details regarding skateboard culture (fashion, decks, skate-styles and tricks, terrain). He was the motion-capture skateboard director for the movie. Tony was really interested in watching how his data translated onto the wire-model, moments after the shoot.

The crew: backrow from l-r: guy in red shirt. Alisha Serold (exec. producer), Pat Hawk (Tone's sister/manager), Ben (producer), Viacom guy in white shirt, Mike McKinlay (skateboard consultant), Adam Hansen (mo-cap lead), Tony Hawk (skateboarder), Brett Ineson (mo-cap brain-surgeon/groupie and pal). Front row: me, Casey Kwan (production designer/CG Supervisor), Dr. Marcus Robinson (mo-cap technician).
Look at this beer that I'm holding over this platter of food. Only in America!

HUMAN vs. VACUUM OF SPACE

I found this interesting article on the effects of space on the unprotected human.

PAUL BOYD

I found out today that an old friend Paul Boyd was the man who was shot and killed by Vancouver Police last week. From eyewitnesses, it seems like the police used excessive and unnecessary force. I'm not going to get into any more details about the tragic event itself but offer these memories of Paul.

Craig McEwen, Andrew Duncan, Melanie Snagg, Paul and I were sitting on Andrew and Mel's penthouse patio having drinks one summer evening. Whenever Paul laughed (and he LAUGHED!) he would stomp his HUGE foot on the patio so hard that the neighbour below got pissed off. Whenever we heard the "thump-thump" from below we laughed because Paul said that he was probably whapping the ceiling with his huge mutated thumb.

Whenever Craig and/or made him laugh he would push us with such force that we'd get whiplash. We nick-named him "Testos: The God of Male Bonding."

He told me all about his new "sick & twisted" animated movie he was making called "Chili Con Carnage" which was about a couple of kids who run amok in a convenient store. He was pretty thrilled with it and laughed at the various things that the kids did. I never did see any of it though.

I remember when I met Paul I found out he did the album artwork for Tankhog's album "House of Beauty." He said he wasn't really happy with it but he laughed at it and how crude and "disgusting" it was.


Craig McEwen and I had a small video production company called Weinerboy. Geoff Coates had drawn the "official" mascots for our company but Paul offered us his take on it and we laughed so hard when he gave it to us. Click on it to see it much larger. The detailing and line-technique is stunning. The attention to detail; unnerving. This picture still makes me laugh my tits off. Craig and I had HUGE plans for animating this guy and tried to figure out what his back-story was. Grandpa Weinerboy, the crusty old sea-dog.

Paul and I worked together as swampers for a crappy, shitty moving company called Mini Move. Before the company had real moving trucks, it used old Canada Post mail trucks. Paul and I drove one of these mail trucks around to various moving jobs. Whenever he laughed he'd pound on the dashboard or (if he was driving) the steering wheel. I remember fearing for my life everytime he drove so I decided I wouldn't make him laugh while he was driving. I remember looking at a girl while I was driving and then hearing Paul yell "Stop!" and I looked quickly to see that traffic ahead of me had stopped. I slammed on the brakes and lightly rear-ended the car in front of us. Paul was laughing at me because the owner hated me enough to begin with and now I had increased his insurance payments. Paul laughed because he knew I was going to be fired. I didn't get fired. When we went to go get our pay from the meat-head boss I said "Hey, thanks for the loot. I quit." Paul laughed.

Paul was a good-natured and a "gentle-giant" (unless you made him laugh then he would push you away with the force of 56 men--it was easy to make Paul laugh too). He was a great guy and it makes me mad that I'll never get to bump into him again or hear that infectious laugh.

OH SNAP!

I just finished working on a Saturday morning cartoon called "Chaotic." It's a poorly written show that features a bunch of really boring kids who yammer on and on about a game they play and their favourite catch-phrase/saying is "Oh snap." Not only is this saying stupid and so behind-the-times but it's used all the time and always out of its original context. Everyone who works on the show moans whenever they hear it and 90% of the people say something like "What does that even mean??!?!!!" Today, while wake-boarding the net I found this:


Can someone please forward this to the writers of Chaotic and 4kids! (especially Michael)?

THE LONE GUNMEN PILOT

I remember watching the pilot on television as I was a big fan of the Lone Gunmen on the X-Files. I even had my current boss Ace Fipke to look into the rights for a cartoon spin-off months before anything was ever announced about a real live-action spin-off. I thought the show was pretty cool; conspiracy theories and what-not. Oh...this show aired in March 2001.

september clues pt.1

september clues pt.2

9/11 September Clues - Part 3

9/11 September Clues - Part 4

9/11 September Clues - Part 5

September Clues - Part 6

GALACTIC SUITE

Here's what I'm saving up for:


"Galactic Suite," the first hotel planned in space, expects to open for business in 2012 and would allow guests to travel around the world in 80 minutes. Its Barcelona-based architects say the space hotel will be the most expensive in the galaxy, costing $4 million for a three-day stay.

During that time guests would see the sun rise 15 times a day and use Velcro suits to crawl around their pod rooms by sticking themselves to the walls like Spider-Man.

I think it would be a benefit to man-kind if the world leaders of 2012 organized their World Summit to include this package (perhaps the resort could offer a group discount?) in their agenda. I also think that the resort and I could do some work together--Give me a free package in exchange, I redesign their logo's questionable type-face.

Conference Call

This is so spot-on!

WEATHER CREATURE™

The Weather Creature™ (pronounced creator™) requires two people to operate it. It is extremely complex and most likely the first (and only) brain-powered™ weather creating machine ever built. The machine, though a extremely complicatedly complex device, is a simple device: It makes weather™!

The machine can be custom painted however you see fit. The one featured in this column is candy-apple red with orange flames and Lion's Gate Green™ legs. It's wheel base is something never seen before ever. It is a series of cogged wheels that turn a thousand of treaded plates that make up what I call "a track." This revolutionary machine-work makes the Weather Creature able to cross virtually any kind of terrain. Nothing else can do this!

Incredibly complex and revolutionary drive mechanism

Using lots of gas and oil, the Weather Creature drags behind it a giant brain-powered generator. The machine needs gasoline and oil in order to provide power to the computer which connects to a modem that attaches to the brain. The on-board computer reads the brain-waves, converts them to code and distributes the thoughts™ into the machines' various functions.

The generator is the heart of the machine. It can be painted.
I went with the Star of David because of its likable appeal.

Smart yet hardy men operate the machine with their brains.

The on-board computer offers various
options like "Google" and "Facebook."

The operator on the top looks after the weather controls whereas the other man controls the machine itself; steering it, moving the turrets and acting like the boss. Occassionally, he'll have to climb up onto jib-arm to pull and twist some levers when they're too drunk to operate the machine with brain-power.

Levers

The cables you see connecting to the chairs provide the operators with either heat or coolant as well as massages. You can't tell from the picture but they are made from a gel-like body-moulding material invented by Dr. C. Horace Toof of NASA.

You will never sit in anything more comfortable than
Dr. Toof's Thermally-Cooled Gel Body-Cupper.™

If you're in the market for weather machines, I highly recommend the Weather Creature.™ Though pricier than the average weather machine, the Weather Creature™ offers things that you just won't find anywhere else--like Google.™