Sunday, September 09, 2007


Just a quick update! The CRTC has approved my request to increase Halfsquatch by 50%!! This is great news and something that I've been waiting for!!

Some frequently asked questions:

Q: What does this mean?
A: Well when it comes down to brass tacks and comparing apples to oranges, nothing. You won't see a noticeable difference. I can assure you, Halfsquatch will continue to operate as it always has. Your computer WON'T be affected.

Q: Is Halfsquatch?
A: This is not a complete nor proper question. I will not answer it.

Q: How are you going to provide 50% more Squatch? Researching scientists concur that this is impossible.
A: Scientists bug me. They're only looking at facts.
Just keep coming back and enjoying Halfsquatch as you would normally. You should not be directly affected by anything we post here on Halfsquatch nor see any difference or improvements in your lifestyle.

Q: Do you provide tours of your facility?
A: Due to increased Squatch production (50%), we are no longer able to provide any tours until further notice. We have always enjoyed providing tours and will let you know when Halfsquatch will be resuming tours.

So there you have it! Keep checking in over the next few weeks and forever onward. Don't forget to tell your Facebook friends about this amazing Halfsquatch update, bookmark Halfsquatch in your toolbar (for easy access), and look for incredible savings and discounts on future Halfsquatch products!!!

CEO / Chief Editor / Writer United Halfsquatch Industries Unlimited

1 comment:

Honkbarn said...

Does this mean that I should pull my pants down so that they're half off? That reminds me, I ran into Jake Bibberdorf at the Bay. I asked what he was doing there because he doesn't wear clothes from the bay, he replied "little boys pants are half off".