Friday, August 08, 2008


I get the feeling that the Large Hadron Collider is actually a super-villain's enormous super-weapon housed in the evil headquarters which is in the guise of a scientific research facility. Think about it: If you were a super-villain; the kind you'd find in James Bond movies, and you're going to set up a massive missile silo/rocket launch pad/electro magnetic disruptor ray-gun super-station, your plans would be foiled almost immediately when some inspector knocks on the door to see if you have certain permits for your not-too-subtle super-base that is going to take you years to build. So you kidnap or kill the inspector but before long, some Intelligence agency sends a super-spy to shut you down. So I think that what we have here: a bunch of naer-do-well scientists (super-villainous) have been building a machine that'll destroy the Earth unless their demands for kazillions of dollars are met. No one has caught on to them yet because they've been convincing people that it's actually a research facility that is going to do some incredible, highly complex, mind-boggling tests for the sake of the universe.

So what are these super-villainous scientistific master-minds up to exactly? Well they claim that they're going to fire a couple of protons at each other through a 27 km underground tube and see what happens. Their goal is to witness and record what happened nanoseconds after the big-bang through a "re-creation". Some "side-effects" of this experiment might be micro black holes opening up under the Earth, strangelets (strange matter), and Lectoids emerging into our material plane from the 8th Dimension. They've begun the cooling process and in September they'll fire a test proton through the system and then on my birthday, Oct. 21, they'll officially fire the colliding protons! SWEET BABY JESUS! Here's the project's official site.

(Copied from Wikipedia) The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) is a particle accelerator complex intended to collide opposing beams of 7 TeV protons. Its main purpose is to explore the validity and limitations of the Standard Model, the current theoretical picture for particle physics. This model is known to break down at a certain high energy level.

The LHC is being built by the European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN), and lies under the Franco-Swiss border near Geneva, Switzerland. The LHC will become the world's largest and highest-energy particle accelerator. It is funded and built in collaboration with over two thousand physicists from thirty-four countries as well as hundreds of universities and laboratories.

The collider is currently undergoing commissioning while being cooled down to its final operating temperature of approximately 1.9 K (−271.25 °C). The initial particle beams are due for injection in August 2008, the first attempt to circulate beam through the entire LHC is scheduled for September 10, 2008, and the first high-energy collisions are planned to take place after the LHC is officially unveiled, on October 21, 2008.

When activated, it is theorized that the collider will produce the elusive Higgs boson, the observation of which could confirm the predictions and "missing links" in the Standard Model of physics and could explain how other elementary particles acquire properties such as mass. The verification of the existence of the Higgs boson would be a significant step in the search for a Grand Unified Theory, which seeks to unify three of the four known fundamental forces: electromagnetism, the strong nuclear force and the weak nuclear force, leaving out only gravity. The Higgs boson may also help to explain why gravitation is so weak compared to the other three forces. In addition to the Higgs boson, other theorized novel particles that might be produced, and for which searches are planned, include strangelets, micro black holes, magnetic monopoles and supersymmetric particles.


JTankers said...

There may be little need to search for micro black holes. If Dr. Otto Rossler's calculations are accurate, the any micro black holes created will find you in 50 months to 50 years!

BEADLE said...

This thing doesn't really scare me. I just hope that when it causes the earth to implode or black holes to open, we all dissapear quickly.

your pal,

BEADLE said...

Maybe that thing could be the reset button for earth ?

your pal,

JTankers said...

Blue screen of death more likely.

Mark said...

Its what the tv show LOST was trying to warn us of in season 2. Keep pressing that button Lock. Save us all!

Jim Purdy said...

I've Got Einstein on my Mind
by Jim Purdy

Listen to me one and all, Oh dear,
For bad news I bring, The End is Near.

In the UK, the Daily Mail tried to clue us in,
That those mad scientists are going to do us in.

Yes indeed, they have published a news article
Warning us of a runaway sub-atomic particle.

The Large Hadron Collider is to blame,
And our universe will soon end in flame.

Oh man, the fireworks will be spectacular,
It'll be so big, I won't need my binocular.

As the end nears, some may grieve and mourn,
But I'll enjoy the show, just eating my popcorn.

Someday I'll entertain grandkids with the story I'll tell,
Oh. Wait. I guess I won't have any grandkids, oh well.

In college, we laughed at those physics dorks,
Always talking about their tachyons and quarks.

Yes, soon the world will be gone, we'll be no more,
Thanks to guys named Fermi, Heisenberg and Bohr.

So, as I await the end of all mankind,
I've got Albert Einstein on my mind.