Thursday, November 26, 2009


You know, after seeing Jeff's work and the success he's had, and taking into consideration a number of comments made to me regarding my thoughts on Jeff Wall (see comments on this post) I thought, you know what? Maybe a bunch of these meat-headed buffoons are right! Maybe I shouldn't just laze about being a bum. Maybe I should get off my fat ass and become the artiste I truly believe myself to be. After all, if Jeff Wall can sell one of his works of art for MILLIONS (not an exaggeration) then so can I!

On my way back from lunch, I imagined myself walking through the world with Jeff's eye and something miraculous happened! I found myself finding art everywhere! There was even a small voice deep inside my right ear saying "YES! YES! That's powerful! Capture it! You ARE an auteur!"

I now present to you my first public showing of 7 masterpieces. I chose 7 as the number of images to present due to the powerful and majestic qualities the number 7 signifies. I think you'll find a number of other symbolic and majestic qualities in each of these images. Enjoy.

Spare Tire Wedged Against Wall In Alley 2009
iPhone digital image: 600 pixels x 800
documentary photograph

The Bicycle Incident 2009
iPhone digital image: 600 pixels x 800
documentary photograph

Street Crossers 2009
iPhone digital image: 600 pixels x 800
documentary photograph

No Exit 2009
iPhone digital image: 600 pixels x 800
documentary photograph

Wet Wall and Pipe 2009
iPhone digital image: 600 pixels x 800
documentary photograph

A House Being Built 2009
iPhone digital image: 600 pixels x 800
documentary photograph

Basketball In Puddle 2009
iPhone digital image: 600 pixels x 800
documentary photograph


Ben said...

Just magnificent!

Wesley Chandler said...

Powerful! Moving! Just amazing!

Clintbutler said...

$500,000 for "No Exit"

Samuel Markus said...

Interesting images however they would appear to be a little more visually discarnate in tone than the work of Mr Wall. Four in particular really caught my eye.

Spare Tyre Wedged Against Wall In Alley.
The parallel lines composed of fence, grass and road juxtaposed with the yellow slash of the pole really does help to accentuate mans confusion over his naturalistic elements and surroundings. The tire squashed vertically against the fence(or better still: wall of concern) is obviously a symbol of man, afraid to step forward into his own sense of self. The yellow could also be argued as being an added racist element especially when composed as you have done so against the "black" of the tire.

Street Crossers.
These two poor unfortunate homosexuals being accosted by the red hand of bigotry and hemmed in by the religious white lines of hatred really sent my senses into overload. However, there they are, striding forcefully forward towards the blue oasis of the garbage bin. The rigid hard erect telegraph poles almost within their grasp: sweet sanctuary. They are obviously unrepentant and deeply in love; the "bear" guy to the right of picture appears to be smiling (just look at his arched eyebrow and "spread cheeks") as he continues to stare longingly ahead completely focused on his goal.

This is a beautiful image composed immaculately.

Also the hidden street sign: 2285 CL: "Closet?"

A House Being Built.
Homelessness is rife in Vancouver and bravo for taking a proud stance against the politic mismanagement and utter dismal action on behalf of the Canadian government. We have three points of discussion here: 1) Is the orange skip where the government would really like to see the homeless housed, like an open grave for the waste of society? 2) The small hut with the door ajar or could it be "The Tardis" (clever pop culture reference there Mr Darrell) which is bigger on the inside than on the outside and could house all of Vancouvers homeless population- but of course that is just science fiction fantasy and I would assume is a statement of your frustration and anger at the hopelessness of the situation. Lastly we have the house in the background which is probably going to be rented out to pedophiles and actors, whereas in reality it could have been easily turned into a shelter for pedophiles and actors...

--and the homeless.

Basketball In Puddle.
A basketball lying discarded in a puddle or an overt statement on misogyny? In closer inspection the reflection of the basketball takes the form of what would seem to be two rather full breasts dirtied and soiled by the wet fluid of mans demon seed! (I must say the brown mud on the ball thoroughly disturbed me. You are an artist who does not pull his punches...)The woman is left lying destitute, used and abused for nothing more than mans sordid pleasure. As we can see the man strolls off quite casually to the left of frame probably going home to read a "car" magazine and wank. Pure symmetry.

I look forward to seeing more of your work and hopefully housed within a gallery.

Merda taurorum animas conturbit.

nate said...


"nofutureface" said...

these fools are everywhere! i cant believe how many pretentious untalented losers are out there who are doing this kind of thing. flickr is filled with images like this, nothing more than boring work with a point and shoot camera, i do not understand it...harumpf!!

Kelsey "needs a cleanup in isle 4" Wagner said...

I just shit all over myself and the wall.