CANUCK-BOT MIMICS EMOTIONS

The Canuck franchise got more than they expected of their new Strength and Conditioning coach and Information/Data Processor/Distributor/Retriever robotic purchase when during last night's game, Pierre 9.3 raised his two animatronic hands and produced a number of claps.

At a press conference this morning in Vancouver, the manufacturer, Ballard Industries media spokesperson Darren Pindarranadahead said, "Pierre 9.3 was not designed for doing such a thing. [We] are all shocked and amazed at the robot's A.I. [We] have a team of technicians in Anaheim right now doing a diagnostics check on [Pierre 9.3] and will be monitoring the situation very closely. We may have to reconsider the "fight Bertuzzi" program that we installed a month ago."

Mr. Pindarranadahead went on to say, "It was originally an "inside joke" but with this most recent unprecedented display, we're afraid that Pierre 9.3 might actually want to punch Bertuzzi right in the face."

A protester voices his (her?) opinion on the controversial fight.

Mr. Pindarranadahead's comment stirred quite a buzz in the press gathering and now it seems that Bertuzzi's agent is considering a pay-per-view special where Bertuzzi and Pierre 9.3 fight it out in the rink. If officials allow the fight to happen, it will be the first time in factual history where a human actually fights a robot.

FLYING MOTORCYCLES

Here's how I'm getting to work next week. I gotta check with the facilities manager and make sure that there's room for it in the bike lock-up.

AUTOGIRO ELA-07S

No. Wait. This one has room for another passenger (I'd like to do my part for Mother Earth) but ultimately, it was the promo video's insanely cool transitions, wipes, dissolves and killer soundtrack that sold me!

PYRATS

The kids at Gobelins have created yet another awesome short. Click on the image below for the short.

Zach Galifianakis

I can't stop laughing at the ending of this!

WENG WENG RAP

My buddy, John Richardson, AKA Greg Richardson's brother, edited this slick little number on that slick little Weng Weng. Today it got Boing Boinged!

GO CANUCKS, GO-BOT!

If you saw last night's record-breaking hockey game between the Canucks and the Stars you may have caught a glimps of Vancouver's latest addition to the management team. On the left is Vice President and Assistant General Manager Steve Tambellini. Joining him is Pierre-9.3, the teams new Strength and Conditioning coach and Information/Data Processor/Distributor / Retriever. Last night's incredibly long game proved that the Canuck's latest purchase of Pierre was worth the $28 million; near the end of the game, everyone; coaches, management, players and fans were tired and/or bored except Pierre-9.3. WELCOME TO VANCOUVER PIERRE-9.3! You bring us home The Cup!

Thanks to Andrew Duncan and his TV Robot for capturing the provided image.

KURT VONNEGUT, RIP 1922-2007

Listen: Kurt Vonnegut died at the age of 84

EVEL KNIEVEL'S X2 SKYCYCLE

When I was a kid, I LOVED Evel Knievel. I had his toys, I watched his TV specials and crappy movies and dressed up as him for hallowe'en once. I remember watching the Snake River Canyon jump and always wished that he'd appear on a 6 Million Dollar Man episode so they could fight. I thought, Steve Austin's stronger and will kick his ass, but Evel's tough enough to take the beating. Then when Steve wasn't looking, Evel would sneak up behind him with the exhaust pipe from his motorcycle and KABLAMMO! Knock that bionic eye right out of his head. Then I thought, after they fight, they'd become friends and then the two of them would team up and take on a variety of villains. Bigfoots, aliens, Russian spies, and sharks. At the end of every fight it would turn out that all these villains were robots.

My pal Patrick pointed me to this Ebay link today! It's the original X2 Skycycle! The auction's ended with no winner but you can still see what 5 million can get you. Check it out on Ebay!

RELAXONE

I've been looking for an egg chair for a long time but they don't come cheap. I think that the next time I happen across a whole wack-o'-loot (tm) I'll go and order myself one from these guys.


I'm really torn up about whether to get the classic Ball Chair or the Egg Chair. Something tells me I have to get the Egg Chair. You should get one too. Oh, and I don't care if you're the King Of The Entire World; if you don't get the ottoman, you're a sucker. A complete down-and-out sucker.

While going through the entire "World Wide Web" (remember, I finished reading the entire web in December last year) I happened across this! Screw the Egg Chair altogether! Hellloooooo Relaxman's RELAXONE!

This thing actually floats on a cushion of air so that your natural body movements cause it to gently "rock and roll." It comes with a built in CD player (how 90's!) with remote and...wait for it........

Are you kidding me? And the thing has ambient mood lighting that you can adjust as well. I'd be in this thing all the time with my lap-top and I'd hook up the iPod to it and I would never come out! It would take an intervention to get me out of there and when I was finally physically pulled out, you'd find me looking something like this guy. Look at this guy! If you don't think he looks relaxed then you need some serious help. I posted the picture side-by-side for some stereoscopic 3D FUN!

JESUS CHRIST: UBER-ZOMBIE

Sorry for the re-posting of this post! It's an oldie, but a goodie and the perfect post for this wonderous, most glorious time of the year. Re-enjoy!

(originally posted april 05, 2006)
Here's an Easter picture I did in grade 1 or 2. We were asked to draw the meaning of Easter. Not being much of a religioner or Christ-liker, and not knowing much about that stupid Christian religionism, this is what I came up with:
The spear-holding roman guardy guy in black says "Today is the day when we take jesus down." Then the blue roman guardy guy says "Big deal." This is historically accurate.

Kiwi V Ad - Playin the Spoons Game

KEVIN SMITH AND SUPERMAN LIVES

A Q&A period where Kevin explains what happened to his script. It's about 20 minutes but it's worth every minute.

300

Finally saw 300 and I was (sorry to say) disappointed. I went into this with HUGE expectations. I loved Zack Snyder's Dawn Of The Dead and the 300 trailer was nothing more than stellar. I'm also huge fan of composer Tyler Bates. The reviews and my friend's gushing must have blown my expectations way out of proportion because I found myself very bored. In fact, there was a couple of moments when I glanced over at my friend John Dryden and found him asleep and I thought to myself "Yeah. I could go there."

It was beautiful in almost every way and I thought Gerard Butler's charisma and screen presence was excellent but I was really looking forward to some great battle scenes. The battle scenes were great but they were too short and there was far too much unnecessary dialogue between the battles in order to drag out a tiny story. I was willing to watch a full half-hour of build up of tension and then dive head-first into 1 full hour of battle because it was so well choreographed and photographed but really this was not the case. I hated the ogre/hunchback and more fantastical creatures (Just because it's in the graphic novel doesn't mean it has to be in the movie does it? If it has to be "faithful" then wouldn't the movie really only be a half-hour? If it has to be "faithful", then there shouldn't be a musical soundtrack.)

Finally, it was over and the closing credits were amazing! I even said "Finally, something worthwhile" to my friend John but he didn't respond because he was still asleep.

Again, beautiful but boooooring. Click on the image below for the credit sequence done by the talented folks at Yu+co.

MICHAEL JACKSON ROBOT

It's true. Michael Jackson has plans on a new Las Vegas show which includes a giant 50' robot with laser-shooting eyeballs. Don't believe me? Use my Super-Google-Insta-Link System (TM) and see for yourself.

88_c_9000

Behold the wonder of 88_c_9000!

I wrote a testimonial to the Weta Raygun site and got published! Click the above portrait to read it! Be sure to read the other's testimonies as they are by far superior. The response-intros to each are hilarious!

ON-GOING HISTORY OF NEW MUSIC

This syndicated radio show (from Toronto's CFNY.FM) is the longest running music documentary series in Canada and one of the longest in North America. It's hosted by Alan Cross and it's quite riveting. This guy knows his stuff. Somehow he unearths the most incredible dirt on pretty much any and every bit of the music industry. I dare you to listen to one of his shows and not say "Huh, well aint that the bee's knees." Even when I hate a band (Red Hot Chili Peppers) I'll listen and be absolutely amazed. Don't get me wrong, I won't end up having any new-found respect for them, but it's a fascinating listen. Right now, as I write, I'm listening to Alan Cross talk about rock and roll hair-styles and I'm enthralled. Engrossed if you will. The great thing about the on-line version of the show is that you can skip past the crappy songs (read: Red Hot Chili Peppers) and get back to the topic at hand. The only downside to this show is its opening intros (kinda like little skits). Don't let these 30 second intros turn you off. Again, listen to one show and you'll be hooked. Alan Cross is very good. You can listen to past shows here. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to learn more about Flock Of Seagulls' hair (did you know that two of the band members were hair stylists!? It's all making sense now).

MY BIGFOOT ART

Here's a snap of one of my most recent art purchases. It's by graffiti artist Bigfoot.

I picked it up at the Ayden Gallery in the Tinseltown mall. It's 18"x 24" on wood panel and it looks great! I've been wanting a Bigfoot original (this is silkscreen on wood--not quite "original" but whatever) for a long time and was surprised to see that this was still for sale--SOLD!!! As soon as I have some spare bucks kickin' about I'll finally get this print of his framed too.


I picked this up a little while ago. It's a bunch of nazis trying to take down a yeti. Come on guys, grow up! You won't win this war either! The artist is Michael Bennett (see previous post).


These two prints are by Tim Biskup and below is my favouite yeti picture of all time. It's an original Kai Todd-Darrell.

THE ART OF MICHAEL BENNET

The artist's name is Michael Bennet and you HAVE to check out his website and gallery. It's amazing. He's got so much work that it's mind-blowing. It'll take you hours to go through it all and you'll want to. It's 60's/70's black-light poster art meets Jack Kirby. Some of it looks like the art you might see on the sides of amusement park fun houses/haunted houses or side-show banners; acid-eatin' carny noodle-heads with an airbrush. He does all genres; science-fiction, western, war, super-heroes, classic monsters, tikis, zombies, hot-rods, fantasy. And it's really cheap!! I got mine (see next post) for 20 bucks. Although some stuff is kinda sloppy a lot of it is just stellar! And like I say, there is SO MUCH to look at that there's bound to be something you'll want to order. He claims that each week there'll be 18 new pieces!!! Be sure to read his bio. GO! GO! GO!

TOWER OF GRANTVILLE

Here's a beautifully rendered animated short done by the fine folks of Buck. Essentially, Scion vehicles paid Buck to make whatever they wanted and what's cool is that there isn't a Scion to be seen anywhere in it. Be sure to make your way to Buck.tv and watch their demo reel. They've done some pretty slick looking stuff.