DEMETRI THE GREEK DOUCHEBAG

Thanks Clint Butler!


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Demetri, if you have a chance, I'd love to read your script! Here's how it's going to work: It is now 5:55 on Friday, June 27th. If I haven't heard from you by say...Sunday at, oh, 4:00, then forget it. I don't usually ask men for their scripts to read, but you sound elegant and I'm giving you this one chance. If I don't have a script in my mitts by Sunday at 4:00; forget it. Now I understand that this is a sudden request. Perhaps you were at a light and just got rear-ended and you're dealing with insurance and auto body repair shops right now; or perhaps you, I don't know, are a volunteer forest fighter with cancer and you're out helping put out brush fires and dealing with chemotherapy at the same time? Again, I can't answer these questions but I'll tell you this, Demetri: If I don't have a script in my bloody paws by Sunday at 4:00, it's over. I will delete this post and pretend that you never even existed. Bye-bye.

BARRIER KULT / SKULL SKATES SKATEBOARD

Deerman of Dark Woods sent me a message via Carrier crow saying that Skull Skates has released a limited edition Barrier Kult board. Check it out!!!

DR. HORRIBLE'S SING-ALONG BLOG

During the writer's guild strike Joss Whedon (creator of the awesome Firefly series) wrote a 3-part musical series for the internet entitled Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. I HATE musicals but the show looks like it has everything else going for it and how can it be wrong? It's Whedon! Starring Neil Patrick Harris, Nathan Fillion and Felicia Day, Whedon writes, “It’s the story of a low-rent super-villain, the hero who keeps beating him up, and the cute girl from the laundromat he’s too shy to talk to.”

I don't know when it's scheduled for release but supposedly it'll be up before ComicCon'08!

Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog

ITALIAN SPIDERMAN: EPISODE 6

INDIANA JONES & THE BOTTOMLESS GOBLET OF VODKA & ORANGE JUICE

I wanted to post this a while ago but I lost the image, so better late than never. Go here to read John's review.

L.O.S.E. #103

So I'm pretty much finished my first two 11-minute episodes of League Of Super Evil at Nerd Corps. Just a massive "THANK YOU!" to my team of animators, especially Barry Karnowski who took the role of supervising animator for his first time and did it brilliantly. The modeling dept. and design dept. should be proud of their work as well; the show looks really sweet. I can't say anything about the post compositing and fx dept. as I haven't received a render but as always, I can be assured that if the show kicks ass now, it's going to look hauntedly sick when Ken & his team get finished with it. Every day I keep checking "Any finals yet!? No. Damn, I can't wait to see this stuff rendered & comped!"

BLACK WIDOWS (GIO CORSI: SKIP THIS)

Today, while doing some yard-work, I ran into my 5th black widow spider.

1st encounter: My mom had saved a fridge box and kept it in their basement in Kamloops. My son, then 4 or so, and I were playing in it when I looked up in the corner of the box and saw my first black widow. We got out of the box and destroyed the spider's existence (after examining it in a jar).

2nd encounter: I was at my uncle's place in Penticton and I grabbed a ball out of a bucket of beach toys he had under his porch. There was a black widow spider about 2 inches from my finger.

3rd encounter: Not a black widow encounter but at our townhouse in False Creek, I picked up a cinder block from our patio and inside it was a Brown Recluse. These things scare me more than black widows. Just look what a bite can do to someone's hand...

I don't want that!

4th encounter: My parents brought a small apt.-sized washing machine down from Kamloops for me to sell on Craigslist. An Aussie wanted to buy it and as we were loading it up in his truck we found a black widow underneath it. He said, "Aye mate, you got yourself a red-back!" This is it:


5th encounter: This black recluse in our downstairs tub:


6th encounter: My dad brought a cedar chest down from Kamloops for me. I kinda jokingly asked if he'd checked for black widows and we kinda laughed and decided to look anyways and lo and behold, right near my thumb on the bottom of the chest was a black widow.

7th encounter: Today, while picking up some logs from a wood pile, I grabbed a log and this juvenile female black widow descended from the log on a web-line towards my foot. Needless to say I put work gloves on after that. Here it is:

GALACTUS

Don't know why, but Galactus is so cool. I never followed The Fantastic Four while growing up and I certainly didn't go see the shitty movies but I really like Galactus. Here's an amazing screen grab from the Marvel Alliances game:

OH! And while we're on the subject of The Fantastic Four movie, check out this controversial photo of my friend Steve Maier and another cool cat...

MARY KAY CADILLAC COMMENT

I just received yet another comment on my "Mary Kay Cadillac" post. This particular comment made my day as it's just so reassuring to know I'm not the idiotest person on the planet.

(as always, click image to enlargicate if need be.)

NASA FINDS WATER ICE ON MARS

From NASA:

Bright Chunks at Phoenix Lander's Mars Site Must Have Been Ice
06.19.08 -- Dice-size crumbs of bright material have vanished from inside a trench where they were photographed by NASA's Phoenix Mars Lander four days ago, convincing scientists that the material was frozen water that vaporized after digging exposed it.

"Are you ready to celebrate? Well, get ready: We have ICE!!!!! Yes, ICE, *WATER ICE* on Mars! w00t!!! Best day ever!!" the Mars Phoenix Lander tweeted at about 5:15 pm.

So an unmanned robotic vehicle on the North Pole of Mars tweeted "woot!!!"? Is that what I just read?

Here's more!

MONSTER CAMP

Thanks Beadle!

"LIGHTING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT! LIGHTNING BOLT...!"

REVERSE GRAFFITI

Paul "Moose" Curtis has confounded British authorities for a while because of his graffiti. What's confounding them is that his work is soapy water stenciled onto dirty walls, so he's in fact cleaning up the city...but it's still...vandalism!? No one really knows.

Check out the video below and also check out the Reverse Graffiti Project website

BMW'S GINA

Take a look at this revolutionary concept car from BMW. CRAZY! Basically there's a hydraulic skeletal frame work that is wrapped by an extremely durable, semi-translucent polyurethane-coated Lycra. Tail lights rest under the fabric but due to being translucent, they are visible under the skin. The hydraulic skeleton can alter the shape of the vehicle, allowing for various aerodynamics and features such as headlights that reveal, like opening one's eyes.

ITALIAN SPIDERMAN: EPISODE 5

would LOVE to have a copy of the song used during "the trip."

NEW KID ON THE BLOG!

John Dryden's psychic powers will soon be made readily available for everyone in the world on his highly anticipated and much hyped, "Dryden: Investigates!" blog! It'll be up online soon and he'll be blogging about paranormal activities as well as answering any questions you or your dead loved-ones may have.

MEET THE SNIPER

MYSTERIOUS CEMETERY NEAR COMMERCIAL DRIVE

Halfsquatch paranormal investigator John Dryden has been busy the last few days. He says, "There seems to be an over-abundance of psychic energy bullshit in the air; perhaps brought on by a recent chinook. I don't know. I've been having much more vivid dreams the past few nights; all of which involve death and possessions by other-worldly creatures and deities from alternate planes and universes. I don't really understand it myself and it's rather troubling."

In my opinion, John has had what very few of us have ever experienced or ever will experience: Prime Material / Parallel Ethereal Planar-Shift (PMPEPS). He goes on:

"So yesterday, my girlfriend and I decided to ride our bikes to Commercial Drive, as we often do. We like to change our route each time we go, trying to avoid hills. We traveled south on Skeena to Adanac and then west on Adanac to Commercial Drive, occasionally veering off left or right; to check out different houses and whatnot. We happened upon a really cool cemetery however, and decided to check it out. The thing looked like it is REALLY old, like hundreds of years old, but, you know, it can't be because Vancouver isn't even 100 years old. I then thought it must be a movie set, but these tombs and crypts were made of stone and brick and marble, plus there was no security. There was no one else there at all come to think of it. We walked around for a bit and I was really glad I brought my camera, because this place is amazing! Holy shit!"

It felt like someone or something! was always watching us

Not a single insect anywhere!

Again with the heebee-jeebies

Maybe Skinny Puppy needs a new album cover. LOL!

Here I am looking into one of the tombs.

I took this picture of what I saw in there...
It went down forever! I couldn't see the bottom!

I tried to get into this one because the door
had suddenly opened, but I just couldn't do it:
Something kept nagging in my mind to "Stop or Die!"

I guess I'm sort of glad I didn't keep going
in because it looks like it would have been
scary as hell to go down there.

Give me a friggin' BREAK! CREEEEEPY!

I tried to phone Johnny to tell him about this cool
but extremely eerie graveyard but my damn phone
would not work even though it said I had reception.

How could I have never seen this place before?!

Anyway, I went back there today to take some EMF readings and use some of the other paranormal investigative gear I have and guess what!? I can't find the fuckin' place! What the shit? I asked this old dude who was mowing his lawn where the old cemetery was and he didn't know what I was talking about. He kept telling me to go to the Fraser Cemetery but I told him politely that he was as batty as they come and to go take a flying fuckin' leap. He told me to "Go jump in a lake and fly a fuckin' kite!" I decided that I'd take 'the Obama route'; end it there and say good-bye to the old coot and left scratching my head. Where the fuck is it!? Am I losing my god-damn mind!?

JESUS CHRIST: DINOSAUR TAMER

Thanks Clint Butler!


HEY! Go on over to Conservatipedia's Jesus Christ Lizard Tamer! so you can a shake your head in disbelief! These people actually think Jesus existed! HA HA HA!

BRAND NEW HAUNTED HOUSE

Halfsquatch correspondent, and occasional Halfsquatch reader, John Dryden has informed me that contractors just finished building a brand new haunted house in the Hastings East district. John writes:


"Just down the street from me, a guy built 2 houses on one lot. One of the houses is plain and fits well with the neighborhood. The other looks like a pre-fab haunted house. They've done everything they could to get this place haunted! First: An Indian burial ground was dug up and used as the foundation. Of course, removing the headstones, and leaving the bodies. Next, They have sold the home to a family whose teenage son worships Satan. They have included a secret room in the basement that is painted red and the walls are embedded with human skulls! (A map to the room is hidden in the attic.) Due to the several rotting corpses under the house, it will soon be infested with flies and eventually the teen will have to kill his entire family because they are the devil. Once all the blood has been cleaned up and the secret room re-sealed, the house will be sold again to another white family who will in turn be driven from the house due to the paranormal activities and dead fish-eyed, bloated clowns under all the beds. I'm just a block or two away and I'll be able to watch all this unfold! Very exciting!"

COCKPUNCHER

Thanks Mike "Ballbuster" Fetterly

WASP INJECTION KNIFE

This bad boy is intended for SCUBA divers in hostile waters infested with sharks but I think this might come in handy at my next scheduled knife fight. Me, I'd take it everywhere, including outer space.

The deal is this: You stab the shark and then push a button which instantly releases 850psi worth of frozen compressed gas approximately the size of a basketball; enough to destroy even the largest land animal. There is no information at all about the knife's effect on astronauts in outer space but I bet it could harm an astronaut.




Click here for more information about this knife that I'm getting to stab things with.

ROBOCOPS ON UNICORNS

Thanks Karnowski!

A buddy at work, the extreme supervising animator, Barry Karnowski, is a huge Robocop freak and he found this Facebook group called I Love Robocop (on a Unicorn!) which is a group that's, yeah, you got it, "dedicated to artwork depicting Robocop riding a unicorn."









And by Crom, there's a link to buy your very own team t-shirt for the St. Albert Robocops On Unicorns as seen in the image below: