Sunday, February 10, 2008

MARY KAY CADILLAC!

Here it is folks, Vancouver's UGLIEST car (actually, I took the photo in Coquitlam)! Look at how fucking gaudy this travesty is. It gets worse! It's a Cadillac STS4 and it's from the MARY KAY line!

I dug up just a bit of research on this pathetic existence and found that if a Mary Kay sales person (aka goof-ball) exceeds a certain $ in sales, they'll receive one of these shit-bags. It's supposedly an honour to have one! There's more. The "fortunate" sales people who receive one of these disasters have to return the car to Mary Kay after two years (so Mary Kay can repaint them and sell them--NOTE: the pink is an exclusive shade of pink owned by Mary Kay. The shade is called Mountain Laurel based on a shade of blush from Mary Kay's line. Personally, I prefer the more reddish shade Juniper's Rectum). Should a salesperson wish to keep her/his 4-wheeled-turd, they have to sign a contract never to resell it. What a catastrophic tragedy in so many ways. I bet most Mary Kay sales people are Christian.

57 comments:

leslie said...

you must be either a failed MK consultant or just a very sad person

Johnny Darrell said...

Neither, Leslie! You're wrong on both accounts! Let me surmise: You are a MK consultant. You are a Christian. How do I know this? The words "...or you must be a very sad person..." are only uttered defensively by Christians. Fact.

Here's another fact: MK consultants have lost all their good friends and for some, their entire family. Their only friends are other MK consultants.

Honestly, Leslie, I've hit the nail on the head here haven't I?

Johnny Darrell said...

Oh...and one more guess here. I am willing to wager that you had a go with Amway a few years back and lost a bunch of friends and money.

Anonymous said...

Why should it matter to you if someone wants to drive a pink cadillac and agree to have a car repainted? You DO sound like somone who feels wronged by MK or one of their sales people. Otherwise, why would it be such a big deal to you? Don't know where your Christian comment came in or even what it's supposed to mean... guess I would have to read more of your postings and I already wasted 3 minutes on this one.

Johnny Darrell said...

Mary Kay Cosmetics' philosophy is "God first, family second, career third." God first? Over family? That's a typical cult trap. Mary Kay Cosmetics exhibit many similar features to a cult (have you found yourself singing in a group "I have that Mary Kay feeling down in my heart, down in my heart, down in my heart..."? If you have, you've joined a cult). Fortunately, MK consultants are being indoctrinated in harmless make-up sales. The problem with this indoctrination is that the consultant soon becomes blind to everything but Mary Kay and making a sale. They'll soon find out that people outside of their "cult" and friends don't want anything to do with them anymore. Does this sound familiar to you?

Telephone rings
Jean: Hello?

Anonymous (Anny): Hey Jean! How are you?

Jean: Oh hello, Anny. I haven't heard from you in a while.

Anny: And me you! How are things? How's the family?

Jean: We're great, thanks for asking.

Anny: We should really get together for lunch sometime and catch up. It's been a long time and I miss you.

Jean: I feel the same way. How about Friday?

Anny: Sounds good. Oh and good news! I have a brand new line of make-up that I can bring..."

CLICK.

Again, Anonymous, I am willing to bet that the only friends you have are fellow consultants. Oh and Jesus (who never existed in the first place).

For the record, I have never had any dealings with or been wronged by the MK cosmetic line or any pyramid company (other than watching a room mate get sucked into one--he became very rich. Annoying as he couldn't and wouldn't talk about anything but the organization--like a cult. He lost all his friends too.) to be wronged by them.

I just saw a very ugly car, took a picture of it, did some homework to find out info about the car and in turn learned basically what Mary Kay's all about and it basically stinks!

Johnny Darrell said...

Oh you know what? I just figured it out!!! The reason their philosophy is "God first..." is actually an extremely clever business tactic. They figure that only Christians are weak-minded enough to fall victim to the plan so by using this philosophy, they're weeding out the more strong-willed people--people who know better than to put "God First" and allow themselves to be exploited by a cosmetic company.

Anonymous said...

All of you are dirtbags my mom happens to own one of these 4wheeled-turds as you say. And you have to work really hard.Also you have to be an NSD one of the highest levels in MARY KAY wich you think is a horibal co.And the car is fantstic asswholes.And you can't fail our you sart from director!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

To make the comment "Jesus Christ never exsisted in the first place" takes away all of your credibility... Do a little research on that, and maybe you'll learn something. You can question whether or not Jesus was the son of god, but not whether or not he ever exsisted. I mean go and ask any credible historian whether or not Jesus was a man.

Try to smile a little more, for someone who has everyone else so figured out, look at yourself and maybe ask why you have such an angry, negative outlook on life and people.

Oh and for being someone with such a terrible business philosophy, Mary Kay sure has been successful...

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She has been successful because she knew that America is full of blind suckers like you. And perhaps you should do a little searching yourself and ask any credible historian whether there is any historical records (besides the bible and 3 other accounts which have been proven to be inaccurate) of this man called Jesus. You would think that a man as AMAZING as Jesus would be SOMEWHERE in the (credible) history books. He's not though and the bible is not a history book.

Anonymous said...

you're both dumb shits

Sarah said...

You are an ignorant human being Johny. By the way only redneck white trash have two first names. Didn't you watch Talledega Nights. Your critism is neither fact nor worthy of all the time you have put into this blog. You need another hobby. Oh also, I am not christian and I to beleive you must be a very sad person that probably wishes they had their own pink caddy. I bet you have cats you AA reject. GET A LIFE!!!

Anonymous said...

I must agree with what Sarah said...I have never heard such a person get so upset. You're just jealouse because your car wasn't free. MK is not a cult, actually. It just happens to be a bunch of bubbly happy women. So, if they want to be bubbly, happy women, then they have just as much of a right to be as a stupid, blind, weakened, jerk like...oh! YOU. I think you have issues. You're one of those that probably blow up buildings for pleasure just to see people bleed and die.

Anonymous said...

Oh, yeah--and by the way...

Nobody in their right or wrong mind would EVER consider this site the best. HAHAHA! Seriously--get a life! Maybe Jesus would be good for you...

Anonymous said...

Its a 50k trophy on wheels. When was the last time you got anything for your achievements. Let me guess, never. I thought so. Your words are speaking louder than your actions.

Melissa said...

Guys come on....he just needed to say to get others upset. Johnny if you don't believe in Jesus, that's cool, no one needs to tell you what to believe in. If you say he never existed that's your business. But for the others who are offended by this, don't for know one can make you believe or not believe in whatever you want. Now Mary Kay is a crazy/cult like company. But I do sell Mary Kay Cosmetics and I am trying not to fall into the foolishness. You can't you get sucked in. Trying to get to all those prizes. And yes I think you are right, when people make it so far up the "pyramid" I think they begin to lose some friends and family, but because they are trained to do so. Meaning your higher up says ask your family to try products, ask them for help, ask them if they want to be a consultant, blah blah blah. After a while they get tired of that shit. Now I say pyramid in quotes cause it is and is not a pyramid. No matter what you are in, someone is at the top and they need a lot of people at the bottom. The ones who work hard. But in Mary Kay there is a hurtle you must jump to be one of the ones actually making money without the hard work. But we will see if I change my tune once I start climbing the latter. Oh and by the way, there are other cars that consultants can choose like the Saturn Vue or the Aura and in BLACK!!!

Anonymous said...

when you look at it every business is a pyramid the guy or girl at the top gets richer based on the hard work of the person on the bottom. But in Mk, the bottom guy decides if and when they want to rise to the top! That's why the MK cult is alive and well for all these years there are lots of happy rich cult members driving ugly, pink and black cars for free...and thanking God and Jesus for the blessings...yeah ...the dummys...LOL :> !

Anonymous said...

So what is wrong with this car? I personally don't prefer the shade of pink but whats so worng with Cadillacs that you have to look down on them with such a bad attitude? CaDdillacs are safe,luxiurious,roomy,classy and low key!!! I think your just jealous you probally drive a ford focus or toyota prius oer something else small,cheap,tacky,uncomfotable,cramped ect.
And what is your problem with Mary Kay the more make up in the world the ugly people they are to depress everyone!!! Your probally trying to be unique and whatvever but instead just being stupid!

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Anonymous said...

What the hell ever loser!! The only thing hotter than that car is the Escalade version. That consultant worked her ass of for that car and deserves it. You're just pissed because all you have to show for any effort in your life is this piece of shit blog, which by the way is a far cry from the best blog ever. Just to cut you off before you go bullshitting about I must be a Mary Kay consultant and/or a Christian, no to the former and yes to the latter. And the Bible has never been disproven so ummm ooops try again fucktard!

Johnny Darrell said...

Fantastic christian attitude! If the baby jeebus heard you speak like that to another fellow being, what would he say?! And you're absolutely right! The Bible does exist! You're keen observation that it hasn't been disproven makes you awesome. But really, you poor pathetic retard, it's what's inside that you need to examine. Did you know that historians, REAL historians, not people of faith, have never found any proof that Heebie Jeebie ever existed? You should do a little research and see that your deity is just one of hundreds of "saviours" who "was" "crucified" "died" and was "resurrected?" It all stems from ancient Egyptian beliefs but it's been skewed and corrupted in order to control society and you lap it all up like a lost little puppy or some kid who believes in Santa. I'd tell you to wake up, but most Christians (like yourself) are too stubborn and fucktarded to want to open their eyes and see the real world because the real world scares the living shit out of them. See, I can call you a fucktard without any remorse.

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