Friday, January 30, 2009

Thursday, January 29, 2009

BALLADEER: MARK GORMLEY

Thanks Bernie!

Prepare yourself. As the song begins, the video shows Mr. Mark Gormley preparing to sing his song Little Wings. Pause the video at this point and look into Mark's eyes and try to listen to your mind's third ear as to what his voice is going to sound like. Once you have it in your mind, push play. I bet milkshake will come pouring out your nose even if you haven't even had a milkshake in months.

ADVENTURES OF MUTILATOR

Thanks MJwho!

I haven't seen this in like 15 years! HILARIOUS!

FIZZI POP

Thanks Dariotown (makers of Italian Spiderman)



German soft drink commercial from the late 70s featuring a suspicious crocodile stalking a young boy. The add [sic] recieved [sic] many complaints upon it's [sic] original release.

Fizzi Pop was eventually recalled across Europe after it was found to contain dangerous levels of a particular red die [sic] also used in military uniforms. The company that made Fizzi pop now makes flea collars.


Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Friday, January 23, 2009

ELECTRONIC ROAD SIGN HACK

Click here to find out how you too can hack the next electronic road sign. Hmmmm...me thinks my sign would be "BIGFOOTS AHEAD."

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sunday, January 18, 2009

LET THE RIGHT ONE IN


I don't get to see as many movies as I'd like as I'm usually swamped with personal projects, amazing chores, family life, work etc. but I watched Let The Right One In last night. I'm not a good movie reviewer-guy (nay, I am much better at reviewing movie trailers to upcoming bad movies), so I'll leave you with these to read instead. All I can say is that the performances of the two kids are great and that I enjoyed it. It's a very subtle, slow-moving Norwegian film. The director claimed that he at first considered making it a silent film altogether and in a sense it truly could work as a silent film. The film is definitely slow-moving and drawn out, but I still liked it.



The film, based on a Swiss book Let Me In, is well-crafted and has a real retro feel to it (not because it's set in the 80's; more so, it has a real retro feel to the film-making because it didn't rely on fast-paced action sequences, flashy whiz-bang editing, cgi (there's a very tiny bit involving some cats) etc. It might have been the director's intentions to utilize the same cinematic techniques and artistic qualities of the period that the movie is set in. In other words, if you watched the movie not knowing it was made last year, you might mistake it for some obscure Norwegian 80's horror flick. The movie doesn't spell anything out for you either. You have no idea where she's from, how she got to be a vampire, or who her older "friend" is (though I have a hunch who he is which I bet the book would reveal) and it works.

Supposedly an Americanized version of Let The Right One In is being made. Also, though I haven't read anything in the Twilight series, I have a feeling that the romantic horror of LTROI far surpasses that of Twilight. As one critic wrote: "There's no going to the prom in this romantic horror." No, the awkward "romance" between mortal and immortal in LTROI is realistic and sad.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

CAN WE TALK BATTERIES FOR A SEC?

Okay, I just realized something: I have no idea HOW THE FUCK batteries work?! Magic? I guess I could do a Google search and learn but fuck that. Batteries: little magic cylinders. Go get some today!

Friday, January 09, 2009

ROBERT "CHECK 'N GO" SYLVESTER vs. DAVID "SNAP 'N GO" PROEBER

Robbing banks and being chased by the fuzz is a little out of my comfort zone but if I knew photographer David Proeber was going to be taking snaps of my run from johnny law, I might reconsider. Just to look as cool as this gun-toting, chain-smokin', denim-donnin' mad-man! Look how fucking awesome these photos are! These photographs are going to make David Proeber and his subject Robert Sylvester famous!


From what I understand, Robert Sylvester, 57, a suspect of robbing a Check 'N Go in Bloomington, Illinois was being chased down the interstate by the man when photojournalist David Proeber happened to be driving the other way. David pulled over and started snapping pictures of the car chase when suddenly Robert saw David, screeched to a halt, jumped out of his truck and started charging towards David gun-in-hand. David was able to snap off a number of photos (obviously) before he realized that he could be in some deep shit so he got the hell out of there. As he drove off he could hear the heat laying some major lead into Robert. When he felt he was safe he pulled over and took more shots. To see his entire sequence of shots click here sucka!

VANCOUVER INTERNATIONAL DANCE FESTIVAL


Who on EARTH decided that this would be a successful promotional card? I think it's not a very successful campaign whatsoever. If it was the following card, I think it would be exceptional:

I mean come on! Look at the guy! He's the toothless undead coming to gum you to death!

UTAH HAIR


Last year John "JohnDryden" Dryden went to visit fellow "Snake" Jared "Potato Chip" MacKenzie in Utah. While down there, John found that there was a new style of hair-do that girls were wearing which has been referred to as "Utah Hair." Basically it's super-do's and up-do's and what-have-you's; full cans of hair-spray are being used to achieve a prom look -- only they're just walking around the mall in their sweat-pants with the high-school volleyball team's name arched across the butt.

Well it looks like it's finally made it to Vancouver. In the past two days, I've spotted 4 cases of Utah Hair at various Skytrain platforms and it's truly incredible. Right now it's very subtle, but it's most definitely Utah Hair. I'm sure the number of sightings will increase as will the hairstyles themselves as girls begin to try and out-do (no pun intended) each other.

Stay classy, lassy!

THE FORCE TRAINER

Thanks Ken Henderson!

Look for The Force Trainer on store shelves this year! Basically you wear a simplified medical instrument which reads a certain electrical activity produced by your brain (Electroencephalography--EEG). This instrument then wirelessly transmits the signal to a fan which pushes a ping-pong ball up a transparent tube. You begin to focus your attention to that part of the brain and achieve better results.

Expect to find a number of EEG-based games this year. I remember reading about EEG games about 20 years ago in a book called "The Last Book You'll Ever Read" by Vancouver-based futurist Frank Ogden aka Dr. Tomorrow. Back in about 1993 he was playing demos of EEG games with his mind. One game was a skiing game where you had to psychically control a skiier down a mountain through a slalom course. He predicted that future games would have you flying a fighter jet craft with the control stick while activating various weapons and the pilot's POV with your brain.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

9

Thanks Gio Entertainment News!


A whole shwack-load of years ago, while I was a wee-man at Mainframe Entertainment, I remember watching a short film called "9" and was really impressed. Rumours were flying that a feature was going to be made with Tim Burton as a producer. While on a tour one sunny afteroon at Bardel Entertainment, here in Vancouver, the fine folks there showed me their animation test (Bardel was one of the studios that Burton's folks were looking at) for the feature and I was really impressed with how nice their test looked. It was spot on to the original short. Unfortunately, Bardel did not get the gig. NOW BEHOLD and see the trailer for the feature! Pretty awesome looking I must say!!

MYSTERIOUS MONSTERS

THIS is the series which started my fascination with Mr. Sasquatch when I was about 6 years old. I haven't re-watched these yet in their entirety but skimmed through some of them. Although it's been 32 years since I last saw it and though I only saw it once, it's very familiar to me and I was able to remember what was about to happen.

Part 1 of 10


Part 2 of 10


Part 3 of 10


Part 4 of 10


Part 5 of 10


Part 6 of 10


Part 7 of 10


Part 8 of 10


Part 9 of 10


Part 10 of 10

Sunday, January 04, 2009

DEAR GRADMA...

Look at this little note I found on the sidewalk...

Thursday, January 01, 2009

HALFSQUATCH TOP 10 RECORDINGS FOR 2008

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

So I thought I'd give a list of my top favourite albums of 2008. In no particular order:

10
BAT FOR LASHES: Fur & Gold

Beautiful, haunting and melodic tunes. The singer's voice sounds kinda like Bjork at times (but not as goofy, experimental or ridiculous) and the music has a sophistication which reminds me of Kate Bush both in quality of writing and in production. The music video for What's A Girl To Do? is pretty cool too...



9
THE BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE: Bravery Repetition and Noise

Neo-psychedelic 60's/classic rock at its finest. If you want to watch a good music documentary be sure to check out Dig! The documentary follows the rise and rivalry of BJM and/vs. The Dandy Warhols. Prior to watching the documentary a few years ago, I only had a "Best Of" compilation of their music, but after seeing the documentary I went and bought everything else they recorded. They are perhaps my favourite band.

8
TAPES 'N TAPES: Walk It Off

Definitely not as impressive as their debut album The Loon, but after wearing that album down to dust it was nice to have a new batch of tunes from this incredible band.

7
JAY REATARD: Blood Visions/Singles '06-'07/Matador Singles '08

Where the hell was I when these albums came out?! I must have been under some fuggin' big rock because I never heard of Jay Reatard until about 2 months ago. He's/they're awesome! Kinda Ramones, kinda Buzzcocks, kinda Vapors, kinda Devo. It's every genre of punk from garage to 80's new wave and his music rocks! Blood Visions is pretty much solid gold. Every track on it will get stuck kickin' about your brain for days. Do a Jay Reatard search on Youtube and look at the first two entries' titles...

6
THE FALL: Imperial Wax Solvent


The Fall have always been "hit & miss" in my books but Imperial Wax Solvent (the 27th studio release) is a definite HIT! It's pretty raw and rough around the edges with flubs and gaffs throughout and you can tell that Mark E. Smith and his new band just doesn't care. It really sounds like they had a blast in the studio.

5
DAVID BOWIE: The Man Who Sold The World


First off, nice dress David. This '71 album definitely strayed from his hippy folk tunes. Still lots of science-fiction throughout and his lyrics just as puzzling as ever but this album is a darker and heavier album. In fact, it has been said that it was one of the first heavier hard-rock metalesque album ever released by a well-known established artist. I don't know about that myself but that's what "they" say.

4 DESTROYER: Trouble In Dreams


Vancouver's Destroyer's (basically Dan Bejar) are amazing. Streethawk: A Seduction is one of my all-time favourite albums ever. I can fully understand why people wouldn't like Destroyer as Dan's voice is a bit...hmmm...theatrical and grandiose and somewhat like a chariacture. I know a number of people who have said "I hate Destroyer because of his voice." Dan is an extremely talented song-writer in the vein of Bowie and Leonard Cohen, and his songs have so many hooks, twists and turns and catchy choruses. Whenever a new Destroyer album is released is is always a treat to hear what treats this genius has in store for us. His music is always unpredictable though unmistakably Destroyer. Whenever any Destroyer song comes on my ipod during shuffle, it's always a reward and brings a smile to my fucking face.

3
THE KINKS: Something Else


The Kinks are amazing. 'Nuff said.

2
THE JESUS & MARY CHAIN:
The Power of Negative Thinking

60 years ago, when I was a teenager, a buddy gave me his Pyschocandy record and I was hooked. To this day, it is still one of my favourite albums of all times. I remember "Stinkin" Lincoln Burgess-Webb shaking his head in disbelief saying "It's just noise! It sucks!" Well guess what Lincoln, you're honestly fucked in the head! TPONT is a collection of some of their best stuff.

1
MOGWAI: The Hawk Is Howling

Scottish instrumentalists whose shows are supposedly louder than any other band have released their third solid album in a row. They've actually released a whole shit-load of recordings but for me their albums were always hit-and-miss so eventually I just gave up on them. I remember being in Zulu Records and seeing Happy Songs For Happy People on the shelf and saying "Nope. I've had it up to here with this band!" Then after seeing the music video for Hunted By A Freak I thought, "Alright, I'd better check the rest of that album out. It was by far one of the best albums of the year and I still listen to it. Their follow-up Mr. Beast and this one The Hawk Is Howling is in the same vein as HMFHP and for me, it's working.