Thursday, August 09, 2007

WEATHER CREATURE™

The Weather Creature™ (pronounced creator™) requires two people to operate it. It is extremely complex and most likely the first (and only) brain-powered™ weather creating machine ever built. The machine, though a extremely complicatedly complex device, is a simple device: It makes weather™!

The machine can be custom painted however you see fit. The one featured in this column is candy-apple red with orange flames and Lion's Gate Green™ legs. It's wheel base is something never seen before ever. It is a series of cogged wheels that turn a thousand of treaded plates that make up what I call "a track." This revolutionary machine-work makes the Weather Creature able to cross virtually any kind of terrain. Nothing else can do this!

Incredibly complex and revolutionary drive mechanism

Using lots of gas and oil, the Weather Creature drags behind it a giant brain-powered generator. The machine needs gasoline and oil in order to provide power to the computer which connects to a modem that attaches to the brain. The on-board computer reads the brain-waves, converts them to code and distributes the thoughts™ into the machines' various functions.

The generator is the heart of the machine. It can be painted.
I went with the Star of David because of its likable appeal.

Smart yet hardy men operate the machine with their brains.

The on-board computer offers various
options like "Google" and "Facebook."


The operator on the top looks after the weather controls whereas the other man controls the machine itself; steering it, moving the turrets and acting like the boss. Occassionally, he'll have to climb up onto jib-arm to pull and twist some levers when they're too drunk to operate the machine with brain-power.

Levers

The cables you see connecting to the chairs provide the operators with either heat or coolant as well as massages. You can't tell from the picture but they are made from a gel-like body-moulding material invented by Dr. C. Horace Toof of NASA.

You will never sit in anything more comfortable than
Dr. Toof's Thermally-Cooled Gel Body-Cupper.™


If you're in the market for weather machines, I highly recommend the Weather Creature.™ Though pricier than the average weather machine, the Weather Creature™ offers things that you just won't find anywhere else--like Google.™

1 comment:

Ashley said...

this is great.