Tuesday, April 29, 2008


Where do you go when you want the industry's finest, top-of-the-line, most up-to-date toilet paper? Yeah, you got it, POLAR BEAR!

I apologize for the crappy quality of the cel phone photos

This place is THE bomb (no pun intended) when it comes to launchin' one. Located conveniently near the border of East Van and Burnaby on Hastings Street (the pooiest street in North America), Polar Bear has cornered the market in anal-hankies. No one else can offer you the selection and reputable service at such a reasonable rate. At Polar Bear, their number one goal is your wiping satisfaction.

Other stores that sell toilet paper don't specialize in it. Think about it. Whenever you have bought toilet paper, it's been in a super-market of sorts (or maybe the occasional convenient store), but wake up you turkies! These stores don't really give a crap (no pun intended) about your rectum's needs. To them, toilet paper is just another item. At Polar Bear, it's nothing BUT (no pun intended) toilet paper.

They've got single-ply, 2-ply, 3-ply, 4-ply and, it is rumoured that if you say the magic word "Touchdown" they'll take you to a room in the back where they keep the legendary (and some say mythical) 5-ply and 5-ply quilted toilet paper. They've got industrial toilet paper, military toilet paper, gay toilet paper, recycled toilet paper (ie used) and toilet paper made of the living tissues of rodents (Egad, that's just too "out there" for me, sirs and madams!!)

Head on over (no pun intended) to Polar Bear and treat your posterior proper!

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