Tuesday, April 01, 2008

LADY ELAINE FAIRCHILDE


Lady Elaine Fairchilde is an abomination. Mr. Rogers' cross-dressing alcoholic junky with cysts on her cheeks is one of the most hideous things ever created by man. I honestly believe if you look you'd find on-line support groups for kids and adults who suffer anxiety and nightmares from this vile red-blotched plague-ridden abhorrence of revulsion. As a child, I was honestly disgusted by this puppet. DISGUSTED.

The creator of the Lady Elaine Fairchilde puppet, Dennis Char, now makes Surrey, BC his home and when I heard which park he frequents, I met up with the man asked him a few questions:

Halfsquatch: Hi and you are?

Dennis Char: Yup, I'm Dennis.

HS: You used to make puppets? Tell me about that.

DC: Yup. I used to work for various stage groups as a set builder and carpenter. I made puppets as a hobby. One day, I got a job to work on the Land of Imagination set for Mr. Rogers. While building the King Friday's castle I noticed that there were puppets being brought in and I got excited because I love puppets. So the next day I brought in 3 or 4 puppets to show Fred [Mr. Rogers]. He was a very nice man and thought that he could use Jonesy for one of the characters.

Dennis Char. Ex-puppet builder. Ex-convict. Murderer.

HS: Jonesy is who Lady Elaine became right?

DC: Yup. So Fred took Jonesy around to various crew members and producers and asked if they thought Jonesy could be the Lady Elaine Fairchilde character and I guess they thought that he could 'cause after a bit Fred came over and asked if it would be okay to buy Jonesy from me which was great. My first professional sale I guess. Oh and I told them that Jonesy was a boy. They added the red blush stuff to his cheeks to make him look more like a girl. Jonesy didn't have that crap on his face. They kinda made him ugly. At least I think he's ugly. Uglier than before anyways.

HS: How much did they buy him for?

DC: I think they gave me around 50 dollars.

HS: Sweet!

DC: Back then 50 dollars was like 100 so yeah, it was!

HS: What happened to your puppet career after that? Did you do anything else?

DC: Nope. I caught my wife with another man and I shot them both with a shotgun while they were taking a shower. I served my time in the shoe and now here I am. Can't say I've made all the right moves, you know?

HS: The night you killed your wife and her lover--not a good move?

DC: Well the hell do you think? Jesus Christ! It was a really bad move on my part!

HS: Are you okay now? How are things?

DC: Jesus Christ.

And with that Dennis got up from the bench and made his way out of the park.

Dennis Char makes one of his puppets years
before the murdering of his wife and her lover.

9 comments:

octoberinaugust said...

is this fabricated? Cause this is scary.

Anonymous said...

I work with a woman (if you can call her that) who looks like Lady Elaine if you added about 300 lbs and lobbed off half her nose. She's about 5' tall. Gross! She's as sweet as she is pretty too! ACK!

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Anonymous said...

Lady Elaine is awesome and this stupid story blows.
Thanks.